update

I am happily wearing 18's all the time. They are stretchy most of the time but every one I have bought is an 18

I have noticed my tummy is going down, my bottom is smaller, my legs etc and all over really.  I have no idea what I have lost in inches or pounds as I am still not weighing or measuring.

My aim is to be in a comfortable size 16 by the middle of November :)

I am regularly doing my Ttapp basic workout plus.  I am doing it around 3 times a week now as less is more with Ttapp and supposed to rest between workouts. It works very very well for me and I am happy that I can see things changing.

I had a pair of Marks and Mpencers stretchy slacks for my holiday at the beginning of August. They were so tight and looked terrible.  My stomach was mooooooooooooooooosive.  I am wearing them now and they are loose all over and totally comfortable.  Also noticed my bra is getting looser so having to do it up tighter.

I have noticed since starting the ttapp again my aches and pains are going. My posture is so much better and I have a spring in my step again. I also find it sets me up for the day, I get more done and feel better in myself. So the plan is to continue doing what I am doing.

I am also making the effort to cook healthier meals again. To stop being lazy around cooking and make the effort :)

little changes

Yesterday I spotted my jeans in the bottom of the wardrobe. Shoved in as no longer fit as I had gain so many inches on my tummy.  I ummed and arghed and decided to get them out and see just how far i had to go to get back in them.  My next goal pair (again lol)..  I put them on, did them up (eek) and wore them all day comfortably (double squeek!) Back in them and comfy and wore them today too! Such an amazing feeling. So I am back in my size 18 pear shape jeans.

How much weight have I lost? No idea...

How many inches have I lost?? No idea...

What is wrong with me??? no idea hehehehehe. I gave up weighing and measuring as whichever I did became an obsession. I now live each day as it comes making small changes that will become good habits.

My first habit is to do my ttapp a few times a week. I am getting up each morning and doing it and find I want to ! Unreal! Its because I know I feel so so so much better for it and its simply 15 mins thats it. Less is more with ttapp so I don't have to do it every day.

I am trying to do some short walks too. Today we walked to the post office and took Carla at lunch time for half an hour. :)

Little changes , one at a time, so they become lifestyle habits :)

Todays new habit is to drink more water. I am guilty of not really drinking enough so I have a nice glass of water beside me as I work :)

update

So I set myself two mini goals

1) To do my ttapp each day

2) To consider what I am eating


I have done my ttapp 5 times each week.  I have decided this is achievable for me and I am happy with that. At first I found it such a struggle to make myself do it but now I find myself getting up and on with it as I know I'll feel so much better.

My shape is starting to change. No weight no measurement so cannot be exact but I bought some jeggings before I went away and they feel so much better today, my ankles are thinner and the top I am wearing is loose rather than tight round the tummy so something is happening

Goal 2- I have eaten alot better but the first week I realised my portions are huge again. So I changed the to goal to 'consider what I am eating and listen for the full signal'  I have found this works better for me. I have still served up too much but I am leaving food again so this is all good.

I have craved humous, cucumber and carrot sticks with my lunch rather than crisps too.

I am feeling calmer, slimmer, happier and more confident again so I pod on :)

I'm back!

Had a lovely week at Centerparcs and been back a week today

I enjoyed a little cycle, went swimming lots of times, walking more and generally relaxing and reading other than that

I read 'The Slight Edge' while away and about to reread it as loved it and feel its very inline with slimpods.

I am back to doing TTapp and walking as my exercise. I am a firm believer we must do what works for us not what someone suggests we do. I kept going off the ttapp and trying other things as others insisted i'd do better.. Did I?? No because the other things weren't me :( I hated them so I wasn't ever going to commit was I?

Ttapp improves my posture, helps my back, will help my knees once been doing it longer again, and simply melts the inches

This time I've chosen not to weigh. Not to measure but simply keep going as this is long term and my aim is to be a size 12/14 by beginning of March next year. I am currently a good size 18/20 so lets see what happens.

I chose not to measure as well as not to weigh as whichever I used to chose became an obsession so instead I just keep checking in the mirror to see if I awoke a size 12 hehehehehehhehe Always some way to check eh?

I have chosen ttapp basic workout plus as its around 16 mins everday for 10 days then every other day until I get to a comfortable size then just 2-3 times a week.  If I can't do one tomorrow I won't beat myself up I will simply do one sunday and keep going as some days are harder than others. I have completed my first 5 days today and I'm so proud of myself as each morning i've not felt like it but have to own up I feel a million times better each day for doing it :) am I a size 12 yet? Nope but I can see wee changes already and my holiday bloating is changing shape already :)

Centerparcs for hubby's 50th 2014

Well I am here.

Last time I was here

I didn't swim
I didn't cycle
I hardly walked
I went to the parc market and bought secret chocolate,crisps etc and ate them while the others were out swimming cycling etc
I didn't sleep
I was anxious all the way here and the whole time
Lived on immodium due to terrible IBS

this year

I've been swimming every day so far
I've been cycling most days and even suggested my daughter and I go cycling today alone and we did !
I have walked everywhere, not saying i'm at my fittest as I'm not but I am happy trying
No anxiety on the way here, we even stopped for a coffee used to be a big no no as I was just so tense the whole journey to every holiday we've ever had
No secret buying or eating. I've even left food at most meals and eaten what I fancied but known when to stop
My kids have kept me awake until 2-3am so far but I have managed to get to sleep afterwards
I am more smiley
I am calmer
I am enjoying my holiday more

When I packed I found my old store of immodium that I never ever take now :) What a massive list of positives already and still four days left!

One week until Centerparcs!

I am so looking forward to this holiday as so need it.

Things I love in the lead up

I plan to go swimming. I even have two size 18 swimming costumes (eek!) Not one to shove in the case and never use, but two i love and plan to use!!! Huge huge step forward.

I plan to go cycling.  I never take my bike. I usually get out the Jackie book of excuses and use one or two. This year hubby commented about ie me not taking my bike and not going swimming and was shocked that I planned to. :) hehehehehehe

Goal - I am still working on it. I want to achieve it but had a set back. In the lead up I've been having sleeping problems and panicky feelings at night which in turn left me tired, grumpy and struggling. All things that seem to ensure I make bad food choices as feel so zombieish.  The good news is that has now been dealt with :)  I had a problem with sleeping/travelling that went back to aged 18 (OMG!!) it was a total shock as not at all what I expected it to be but its gone!!  I went to Greece aged 18 and the whole thing was abit of a shock to me. So basic, so hot, no key to our room, all sorts, so I struggled to sleep and clock watched. I had totally forgotten this as it was a few years ago hehehehe. Then next holiday was Tunisia and that had its own set of problems and the two together seem to have built up so that going on holiday/travelling/sleeping are all this huge mess.  Its gone!! woohoo!  had two fab nights sleep and I'm feeling so much more relaxed and ready to face the world again.

I even got up early today because I wanted to and its the school holidays so I didn't have to. I'm back to my TTapp basic work out plus. I usually chose step away the inches if I'm honest as its simple and easy but I have chosen the other one!! This is so unlike me but I know it works. It produces longer leaner muscle (yes I will have some muscle rather than all the flab)! and its just 15 mins a day.  Its not easy to master but this time I've picked up happily where I left off and can do 90% of it.  It seems to give my body strength, help my knees and my back pain so really its a good 15 mins spent so I plan to stick to it this time as I was getting lower back trouble and neck trouble again and already I am seeing huge improvements.

So Centerparcs here I come!

size 18 here I come again

I've spent alot of time working on my head.  I gained more than I thought but I've never given up.  I am back to Ttapp as that is what works for me.  I can fit it in, I like it and it melts the inches in just 20 mins a day or less, so that suits me best and walking when I can . I plan to up the walking too.

I have noticed the wee gremlins jumping in trying to ruin it for me as my shape changes. Partly because as I get my waist back and my tummy starts to go down I get this spare shelf around my hips which I hate. I go from all rounded like a telly tubby to lumpy for a while and this is the point I often give in as in my eyes this look is worse than the all rounded one hehehehehe as is between sizes. So that is where I am today, but today I chose to wear a dress (eek!) I do not do dresses. To me I could only ever wear a dress when slim and I've stuck to that for more years that I can count, but today despite the extra shelf and still being and 18/20 I am wearing a dress !!

On Saturday I wore cycle shorts.  Biggie?  Yes it is as I truly believe this is one mammoth step forward for me mentally. Going out in public in something my mind always told me I couldn't do until slim is accepting lifes hurdles and allowing them to be a part of my journey. Its like my mind has finally accepted that it is now inevitable I will be slim.!  To me thats a huge biggie so I am grinning.

So the shelf... I have 2 weeks and one day until Centerparcs, so rather than give in and accept I am this size, I chose to pop it up a notch with the exercise today and do the Basic Workout Plus. Now I've not done this for over a year probably nearer two years but I KNOW it works omg I know it works .  Its only 20 mins but omg I sweat lol and 2 years a go when I bought it I could not do 5 mins. I had to build it up section by section over several weeks until I could finally do the whole workout... today I popped it in the dvd player and did the full workout. I knew about it but I had the stamina and the health to do it in one go :) I am so so proud of myself.  I cannot tell you how good it feels so now I need to fit this in once a day until my holiday :) I CAN DO THIS.

I feel I've climbed a huge mountain lately. I've had days where its easier to hit the crisps and chocolate and then I've found myself thinking 'what was that all about'  I could see what I was doing and rather than give into the gremlins I've squished them each time. As with all gremlins the more I squished the more they came back and i've had quite a rollercoaster of a fortnight but I do feel they are going now and that will help my tummy go down more as crisps and bread bloat me and my stomach was alot flatter prior to the gremlin fortnight. This time I've fought them and won. I've accepted them as hurdles I must jump over rather than walk around.  This time I'm going for goal  :)  Its a very empowering feeling. Old Jackie would never have upped the exercise a notch to deal with 'the shelf' she'd have given into the gremlins as it was easier. I won't give into them as I've reached a time in my journey where I must deal with them and accept its a part of years and years of what I did just trying to squeeze back into my life. Its my choice if I let them isn't it? It's down to me?  Well I've chosen not to let them this time.

So here is todays piccie. Not a pretty sight but I'm a work in progress and I'm wearing a fitted dress despite not liking my figure or the 'shelf' that always appears as I begin to exercise.  But then look at the last photo.... THE REAL SMILE :) because I KNOW I CAN DO IT :)

The moral of this story is acceptance and never giving in, for me acceptance has been the harder one.