The next 6 weeks

So I set my next six week goal. Its to get into my size 16 Next jeans.  I might be pushing my luck this time. I've not been a size 16 since I had Matt and hes nearly 21! BUT I am so focussed right now :) I feel amazing. I can feel my shape changing. I can see my shape changing! Normally I look in the mirror and see a pregnant tellytubby, well thats what I used to call myself, but nope not anymore. I really can see whats happening wooohoo!  I will be wearing those jeans!!  A month today :)

So how will I achieve this? Pretty much the same as last time really.

Walk Carla each day at lunchtime - a nice brisk walk - she likes fast walking does Carla hehehehehe

Continue my mindful eating

Continue my TTapp every other day

Do my easy Mummy tummy breathing exercises (yes I know my youngest is 9 but I still have a terrible mummy tummy)

Wear my size 18 Joe Browns top (the one I got into for end of March) and actually feel good in it - I achieved that this weekend. It fits lovely, its clingy, but I love it and most of all I feel amazing in it!

Drink more water

Do more with the kids


I feel so confident these days.  I had zero confidence. The confidence pod has worked wonders on me. I still get apprehensive over things but I do them, I don't look up the jackie book of excuses and back out. I do it!   I feel good in my own skin for the first time in years.  I like me!

I made soda bread at the weekend. Healthy bread. Its yummy.  I wasn't hungry last night and we were having a snacky tea and I fancied soup and soda bread.  I actually had to leave some bread and the slices were small!  I only had 2 of them. Old jackie would have had at least 4 that size. But my full signal kicked in.  OMG its strong these days. I hear it instantly.

People that haven't seen me for ages ask what diet I am on lol.  What plan am I following? I'm not. I never diet anymore. I don't eat diet food either. I eat exactly what I fancy and stop when I'm full. Yes thats right - exactly what I fancy. :)

My cravings for rubbish have pretty much gone now. I have days I have to have chocolate so I simply have it. I might have a day when OMG that hot cross bun is calling me and I'll have it. BUT I don't then eat lunch just because its lunchtime, tea just because its teatime.  I only eat when hungry. Yes I sit down with the others to meals. Most of the time I eat what they do too. If I don't fancy it, I have what I do fancy. No diet yoghurts OMG I used to live on muller lights just because they were free on slimming world. No weighing anything. No thinking 'mmm how many syns' or OMG I ate a hot cross bun my diet is over! I can eat that hot cross bun guilt free. I never beat myself up about food. I just eat it. Thats what food should be all about. Not a emotional tool just food.

I used to use food for

consoling myself
treating myself
shoving down every emotion you could think of
because I was tired
because I'd been weighed and could binge for two days
just because I could

I no longer have that emotional attachment to food. Its simply fuel and I enjoy it but I know when to stop.

Remember I used to be a binge eater. I used to be an emotional eater. I used to spend my whole day thinking of food. I used to eat food secretly. I grazed all day.  I never shared chocolate I hid it and inhaled it in private.

Friday I shared chocolate with the kids. I gave them 'my' chocolate. It just doesn't have that emotional pull anymore. I still love it but don't have it every day, just sometimes.

I used to spend my life worrying what others thought of me. Would I offend them?  Really I kept out of most peoples way as it was the easy option. Can't be judged then can I?

What a difference 15 months can make :)

When I started I'd have told you I was a size 20 top, 22 bottom.... I looked back at my measurements and I was in fact a size 26 squeezed into very very stretchy size 20/22's :(  No wonder it took me a while to reach my goal of a pair of size 20 jeans thinking I was dropping one size!!!!!  when in fact I was dropping 3 :) I've now dropped 4 dress sizes :)


I feel alive, lifes for living, I'm living it, and I'm loving it, are you?

I am so focused right now and I'm painting the world with pink fluffy positiveness!