Saturday 18 August 2012

Another holiday, so whats changed?




Holiday

Was lovely and relaxing J

The cottage was old fashioned but clean, tidy, had everything and in a really tranquil setting. The garden was beautiful J Welcome pack of wine, bread, butter, jam, milk, tea, coffee, sugar etc was so lovely even washing powder, etc too very well thought out J and just down the road from Sellafield

So an 8.5 hour journey there as traffic was horrendous L but I was calm, no bad tummy, no anxiety and coped well. We went to St Bees to walk on the beach a few times and play in the rock pools. Princess soggy knickers loved it one rock pool was about 1.5 foot deep and honestly didn’t look it as was small, she bounced in and the look on her face as she lost her legs and had to doggy paddle was priceless needless to say each puddle was taken very slowly and carefully after that one as looks apparently can be deceiving

We went to Scarcliff Pike (spelling) beautiful, We went to a few of the western lakes and Carla paddled in each one and loved it.

So I wanted to see how I got on this holiday. I weighed before we left and I had put on 4.5lb. I was fine with that as OMG I’ve dealt with so much and faced some demons haven’t I? I was quite prepared for a holiday gain too, in fact I was 100% sure I would have one. So I left for holidays weighing in at 15stone 5.5lb

So I got home and weighed this morning and back to 15 stone 1lb in fact it wobbled on 15stone So not only did I go away I lost the 4.5lb I put on


So now for some points


So in a year since I last went away so much has changed. My weightloss journey kind of became face my fears and make life changes didn’t it? Last year I went away anxious, with a knot in my tummy feeling sick, tense, unhappy, planning on ‘being good’ while away, determined to try not to overeat, watching every car as scared of crashes even though not driving, worrying each time one of the kids went in the sea, worrying and stressing about everything. Dosed up with immodium just incase. Last year I ate constantly, making excuse after excuse for my awful eating habits afterall on holiday so that’s fine isn’t it? I secretly ate, I thought about food constantly and I was a nervous wreck.

So what has changed I ask myself? A lot

This year I got up and no anxiety, no tenseness, no sickness, no bad tummy, no knot in my tummy, no stress, I was calm I was relaxed OMG me relaxed on a journey that turned into a huge journey, stationary on the motorway for nearly two hours this would have had me climbing the walls in the past. Nope I sat there calm while Gary stressed Yes you heard me, calm and relaxed. Never flinched the whole journey just 2 immodium just incase J and on the way home just 1 and the journey home was over 9 hours :)  I never touched them the whole holiday  I no longer need them :)

I felt in control J
I wore my size 16 Debenhams tunic to travel in
I mindfully ate 95% of the time. The odd bit of food got inhaled but only the odd bit in fact the only secret eating I did was two choccie mini rolls J that’s it all week J The rest of the time I simply ate when hungry and stopped when full. I didn’t eat rabbit food, I didn’t have the healthiest diet in fact it included daily sandwhiches, small piece of quiche, often a few pringles (yep that’s right a few not a whole tub Mcdonalds twice, one ice cream. 3 squares of galaxy. Yep 3 piddly squares not 3 bars as its all I needed and I was satisfied

Where was Jackie??????? She was definitely there but who was this person who heard the full signal, who not once thought about food, who left food at most meals, who ate with no guilt???? Who on earth was this
I ate normal meals with my family. I went out daily to various places and made no excuses not to go ie to sit and eat secretly at home, or because I was too lazy to join them, I simply joined in. I didn’t huff and puff everywhere as I felt fitter and healthier, my tummy was pretty much 100%, I had no anxiety, no tenseness, no stress, no feeling rough all the time, lots of energy, I felt confident enough to wander round shops without the others, to walk Carla on the beach alone while the others splashed in the sea. I didn’t stress over Matt once being at home alone. I didn’t pester him constantly or check up on him. I went into the services alone I spoke to people I don’t know with ease J I often refused food that was offered me well I wasn’t hungry OMG is this me????? I cooked myself a pepperoni pizza. Took one bite and decided I really didn’t want it and left the lot a whole pepperoni pizza they all thought I’d lost my marbles I must be ill, but what was I?? Not hungry, just simply didn’t need it

I ate and drank on both journeys J like normal people do J now in the past a journey meant omg plan it all out, no food, no drink, sit tense and just can’t wait to get there. This was different I was different. I had faced my fears and won
I read two amazing books on holiday. I loved them both and felt they answered alot of my questions and showed that actually the pods do all this for us but I enjoyed reading about it all and it reinforced alot for me. The books were

Soothing the beast within: a loving path to end food addiction by Nancy Routley

and

Taking Action: 30 Specific Strategies for overcoming emotional eating by Katie M. McLaughlin





What have I learnt so far this year? Actually I know I have missed out so much but this is what I can think of at the moment


You really can eat what you want in moderation, mindfully, savour it and maintain or even lose weight J

No foods need to be banned
Food should be chewed, savoured, not inhaled
Diets don’t work
Regular exercise is not a swear word it makes you feel good
We all deserve to love and be loved for who and what we are, not who and what we wish we were J
Nothing needs to be the way its always been
There is no failure only feedback
Old habits really can be changed with time and that dreaded word ‘patience’
You really can’t teach an old dog new tricks
Needed to have faith in me
Needed to love me
I really can tell the difference between hunger and thirst
I really can stop when full and leave food on my plate its fine to do this J
Hunger is not an emergency
I am worth it
Emotions come in waves and last approx. 6 mins, so I need to try and ride that wave, feel that emotion, and move on not shove it down with food
The one minute rule works – If I crave or fancy something even if it’s a whole tub of brownies, give it one minute. Breathe in to the count of 5 and out to the count of 5 a few times. Take a bath, phone or text a friend, say an affirmation. Do I still want that whole tub? If so have it with no guilt. 95% of the time I no longer want or need it, I wanted to shove an emotion down
If I keep doing what I’ve always done I’ll keep getting what I always got
I am like a teenager in a 40+ body and can now do things for the first time as no longer have my anxieties
Fears can be faced
We can achieve anything we put our minds too
The mind is a powerful tool. It controls the body
Food is an addiction
Friendship is so important. Having people we can be open and honest with is so important. True friends are like gold dust
Inhaling food is a habit, part of the addiction, like all habits with patience and determination this habit can be broken
We reap what we sow
Losing weight is not a race. Each of our journeys is different. But we all ultimately want the same thing. A thinner healthier body and above all a healthy normal relationship with our demon ‘food’
We should set ourselves up to succeed, so one day at a time, one step at a time, not jump in with both feet and wonder why we fail
Don’t expect a miracle weightloss cure there isn’t one, it took me years to get this way so I need to wade through the issues and deal with each one at a time
Lots of tiny changes = big change
Our journeys are individual
Food does not help our emotions
Doesn’t have to be easy, just possible
I used to make constant excuses why I overate, ie don’t have time to cook healthy, I was stressed, I was on holiday, I felt tired. Now I just eat as food = fuel. Food is not your friend its your fuel. Friends are our friends
Scales lie
I am not the only one who binged, inhaled my food, turned to food, the world is full of us. I was not/am not alone

2 comments:

  1. Your doing great!! Well done You.. the cottage sounds lovely too. I'd love a holiday like that but never know where to look.. what company did you use, and was it the Lake district too? Sorry for all the questions its just, it sounds so ideal i need to be there xx
    Love Tracey xx over at http://slimmingworld-adiaryofmyweightloss.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Tracey

    We booked through Sykes Cottages. Just an online company I think and covers all areas in UK :) Recommend the lakes so beautiful and the Western Lakes are fab as quieter :) xxxx

    ReplyDelete