Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Girlie Days with Charlie

Charlie loves Girlie Days. I think because it means quality time with Mum but also because Mum spends money (rollseyes)

Saturday was the first one for a while. It meant a walk into town. A wander round Store Twenty One to make it affordable to buy her several bits and pieces. She came out of there with an orange cardi, orange skirt, (neon) eek! dress, rug for her bedroom, new door hook for her room, and I'm sure there were other bits too.

I came out with a new winnie the pooh mug.

We then went into Costa. She loves their double chocolate chip muffins.  so she had one with a coke and I had a coffee and a small lemon tart. Charlie pinched part of that lol.

We wandered to Wilkinsons as her spending spree wasn't over apparently.  We then find they have a free craft table and free face painting, so we queue, and queue. She makes a tissue paper pot she is very proud of and had her face painted.

Shes 9 going on 18! hehehehehe everything becomes a fashion show! as you can see neon cardy (skirt same colour) hehehehehe

Oh and the butterfly lasted until Monday night as she refused to wash, or lay on her side in bed to keep it perfect.

She also 'needed' new art supplies. 'needed' not wanted 'needed' So she came home with a carrier bag full that are all over my lounge floor along with bratz dolls, barbies and general Charlie junk! I am convinced shes Britain's youngest hoarder in the making ! She loves that programme.

Today is apparently girlie day too :) Again this meant a walk to Costa in the rain, a trip to Wilkinsons as she 'needed' more art supplies for her project for my birthday on Sunday!  It looks like I am getting a small Charlie handmade canvas piccie for my office wall as we 'needed' a pack of four blank canvases!

She did try to tell me we 'needed' these sparkly stones that go in the bottom of a fish tank.  ummm we don't have a fish tank! and at £2.99 I passed on that one!

Today she made me laugh so much. We were in the queue in Costa.  Someone picked up a diet coke. She piped up 'Mummy does that lady really think that drink is good for her? dear dear its full of chemicals and quite addictive' OMG I wanted the ground to swallow me up.!  I asked how she knew that and apparently I told her. :)  She then proceeds to read the labels on the drinks and choose a Fanta (don't ask) but apparently the odd glass of 'real fizzy' is better than chemicals and she doesn't drink much of it now as prefers high juice and fizzy water :)  So perhaps I was wrong and Charlie does listen to me sometimes !

Shes apparently going to listen to the confidence pod this week as its the talent show auditions at school next Friday and by listening to the confidence pod a) she will sing just like Katie Perry b) it makes her voice better lol

Oh and apparently slimpods are great. They made her Mummy beautiful hehehehehehe!

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Little changes

I had to blog about this. Its a silly thing but it was a realisation last night!

Last night we had a roast dinner.  Love roast dinners but we don't always have them due to time, cost and getting everyone together lol

Well this would have been Old Jackie's roast dinner =

Chicken with skin on (eating extra as I served up) :) one of the perks of the job isn't it? hehehehehe, veggies, tonnes of roast potatoes (I mean I cooked them in olive oil so its healthy isn't it? so pile it high)  a couple of Yorkshires, parsnips, and gravy, and mint sauce and stuffing.  I would be knicking potatoes as I served while nobody was looking so it looked like I was eating less (rollseyes) :( Then I'd have eaten the lot. Saving the best bits for last. I always cleared my plate. Even as a kid. So I'd eat what I wasn't so keen on saving all the goodies till then end. Did this for 44 years :)

So realisation time.  Bearing in mind no diet head. I just slimpod. I don't follow any plan and never plan to -

I served mine last.  I didn't eat anything as I served up.  I pondered for a second. mmmmm what do I fancy?  Yorkshire? - nah seriously don't fancy any today. So I served - lean chicken breast. For some reason I removed the skin (shrugs shoulders) :eek: didn't fancy it! OMG :eek:! Piled on the veggies and roasted parsnips. I say piled on I don't mean a heap just a serving. Potatoes.  Mmmm do I want any... I'll have 3 tiny ones.  Stuffing, mmm yes love that, and a weeny bit of gravy.

I sat down. Realising not overly hungry, so I found myself eating my favourite foods first, veggies and chicken apparently hehehehehehehe. I ate 2 weeny potatoes. That's it.  I left quite abit of my dinner once I was full.  I left potato and parsnip on my plate ???? unheard of. 

I bought cream cakes yesterday. I cannot remember the last time I bought them. My favourites too choux buns with caramel on top. Yum..... but it wasn't yum. Mine sat in the fridge. Simply didn't fancy it and still don't. Good job as Chris ate mine last night. He had two hehehehehehehe.  He asked who's it was first. I said mine.  He said oh that's fine just asking as they were scrummy.  I said have it , seriously ,I don't want it????.......

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

I love my slimpod because...

Why do you love your slimpod? do you have one?

I was busy looking for that quick fix when I found Slimpods. I'd been dieting for about 25-30 years and was yo yoing up and down. I'd diet lose a stone, fail, binge, and gain that stone and more. It was a vicious cycle really.

Make a video of your own at Animoto.

I was in a vicious cycle of binge for 2-3 days, starve for 3 -4 days leading up to weigh day, weigh, then start the cycle again. I've been slimpodding for about 16 months now and gone from a size 26/28 down to pretty much a size 16. Alot of 16's fit me but not all. But thats good enough for me as I wouldn't have squeezed one leg in before. Slimpods are fab. No willpower required. Just some time and patience. Not even that for many. Just a case of listening and following the 3 golden rules. It really is that simple. Trevor has a lovely voice too and so many find it so relaxing and even comment that they sleep better too :) thats the effect they had for me too. Are you ready to try something that works long term? Buy a slimpod then :) People sometimes say to me its expensive. £29.99... how is that expensive? Its a one off payment. No paying to get weighed and humiliated. No yo yoing anymore. No joining fee. Its simply a one off fee. Best £29.99 I've ever spent. Well a little more than that as I bought the package with the chocolate pod, but still the best value for money weight /size wise i've ever spent. I am slowly shrinking. I am okay with it being slow. I love the fact thats its permanent changes. Its not a race this is a lifestyle. A new happy, confident, positive, healthier, more active lifestyle. What I love most is you do it because you want to rather than feel you have to!! Tell my brain I can't have something and pink elephant jumps in. I want it! Tell my brain it can simply have what it wants when it needs it and I rarely need it. If I do, I have it. Yes thats right, no diet foods in my house. No muller lights, no syn counting, no point counting, no omg I ate a packet of crisps the world will end. I can have just what I want! I have learnt what hungry is :) I know when thirsty rather than hungry :) I hear the full signal so loud I have to stop as I hate feeling full now. It no longer comforts me I hate to feel overfull but to be fair i've not felt over full for months. I can't eat that much ! woohoo! I love the freedom. Its so liberating not to follow a plan, to eat with my family, to want to do my ttapp dvd to want to go for a walk rather than I should do the 30 day shred and kill myself! I love the confidence, the positivity, the fact I feel alive. The fact I am enjoying my life. The fact that I don't look at every label. I just love the skin I'm in, stretch marks and all. I no longer look in the mirror and wish I had the perfect body, I look and see all the changes. I look and see a shape returning. I look and accept me for who I am. I love me again. I am happy with me. I love that inner confidence that shines from the inside out !

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Things are changing all the time

Its like new Jackie is emerging all the time. Like I've finally given myself permission to lose the weight! woohoo!

Food really has become fuel. Just food. If you'd told me that a year and a half ago I'd have laughed at you. Food really was everything to me. Its all I thought about from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. I grazed all day. Binged most days. Its like I shoved everything down with food.

I ate if bored, ate if stressed, ate if upset, ate if happy. Every emotion you can think of I ate for it. No wonder I got to the size I was.

When I found slimpods I was failing miserably at Slimming World. Just on the verge of giving up. Then I read about the slimpods and loved the idea of no more dieting. I felt i'd tried most diets and failed and each time ended up bigger than when I started and more miserable. So I ordered the slimpods.

I loved them straight away as they made me feel good inside. Something I'd never had before.

I don't think about food until I am hungry or the others ask me to make their lunch etc.  I often refuse food if I don't need it or want it (eek!) I never refused food in the past even if I had just eaten hehehehehe.

Last night made me think.  My eldest went to the shop to get chocolate. Bless him he came back with a big bar of cadburys for me.  Just as he used to months ago.  I popped it on the side as didn't want it.... urmmmmm in the past I'd have devoured that straight away in one sitting.  Its still sat there today. Its not even calling me at all.  I'm not even bothered if someone else eats some or all of it (eek)!  old Jackie would have hidden it . One did not share chocolate! I'd have eaten it all myself secretly and then disposed of the packaging when everyone at work or school.

I couldn't trust myself around food in the past. I didn't have a full signal and think I took comfort from that over stuffed feeling. It made me feel satisfied. Its like I had to ensure I always had enough food, far too much of it too, we threw so much food away. I no longer worry like this I mean hunger is not an emergency is it? Theres always plenty of food in the house but yes its possible just possible we might run out of something. Mine lot are finding this hard to accept. hehehehehehe

I love the look of fresh fruit and veggies. I love those bright enticing colours. Yet in the past I bet I didn't have one a day let alone 5! I'd tell you I didn't like them. But I realise that's just not true. My tastes have changed so much.

We went to Waitrose and Gary got me some chocolate cake with my coffee. I was hungry so I had some but I didn't really enjoy it as too sweet and rich.  I even left half of my coffee as felt full. Its funny how I have changed.  He still looks at me gone out. Whats the point in leaving a small bit of cake and half a coffee! Just finish it! But I don't want to anymore. I am no longer a dustbin.

My shape has changed beyond recognition. My size 16 jeans are getting lose already. So I am washing and wearing them before they no longer fit. They are pear shaped ones but that's my shape. I suspect over time that will change too :)

Its why I've always chosen an item as a goal.  One single item of clothing that I like. It doesn't matter to me if every size 16 in the world fits me, just one is fine. My goals aren't about a size they are about an item. When that item fits I chose another item I love and that's my next goal. I don't lose sleep over what else fits and doesn't fit. I am not bothered. I can see with my own eyes that the inches are melting away. I have a figure for the first time since having the kids . (Matt is 21 this year) I have a shape. I am proud of my new shape emerging. I no longer look in the mirror and pick fault or turn to food as upset. I  look in the mirror and notice the little changes. Little changes soon equal big changes. :)

I feel good from the inside out. I love encouraging and helping others as my journey hasn't been the easiest. I've struggled with my diet head all along. Others struggle and I love to show them this will pass, just keep going, and it will happen. Never give in.  Trevor is a wise one. He says 'there is no failure only feedback' and how true is that.  I have many negatives that happen but I learn from them.

I think a part of me had to accept. To give myself permission to lose the weight. To be slim.  I think I hid behind that fat for so long it was a comfort to me.  I don't mind how long my journey takes. I am not competing with anyone. This is my journey and I'm happy that's what matters. I am constantly making improvements, gaining more confidence and having more smilie days.

Do the slimpods work?  Yes if you give them the chance to. If you don't fight them. If you simply follow the 3 golden rules and don't try to cut corners they work 400%. What diet gives you that inner confidence before you reach your goal? none!

Saturday, 11 May 2013

not slimpod but made my own soap powder!

Not slimpod related at all but I guess I'm finding out what I'm all about these days. The new Jackie. I joined Wikaniko. (we can Eco) painting the world a very pale green.

I have a website

I am not a massive go green freak but I do think its important we consider the world around us for our kids.  I'd been drawn to some of their products so thought I'd sign up.  I wanted to try things like soap powder, fabric conditioner, washing up liquid. I love them all and the washing up liquid is so gentle on my skin I no longer get the flaky skin that the others used to give me.

Anyway I'm digressing but heres the recipe for homemade soap powder.

I used 2 cups of soap flakes
2 cups of borax (or a borax substitute (it will say this on the box)
2 cups of soda crystals

Mixed in bowl and popped into a Tupperware

For darks or lightly soiled just one tablespoon

for heavily soiled 2 tablespoons.

I think it works out pretty economical too.

The clothes feel clean. Its weird as there is no strong smell but they feel really lovely and freshly laundered.

I also love soap nuts.!!  OMG they are fab.  3 little soap nuts tied up in a sock will do 4-5 washes. They naturally produce soap and you don't need fabric conditioner.

I am converted!!  I won't be buying soap powder again.

I think I 'll use both the homemade and the soap nuts.  Because I can't chose between the two as love them both hehehehehehe

Friday, 10 May 2013


Its something I've never really had.  Well I am chatty if I know people but I had no faith in me. Its something I've worked on over the past 12 months, with the slimpods, with Lori, my confidence pod.  I've noticed subtle changes all along but suddenly its like its happened. I can't explain it but I feel that inner confidence, that self esteem, that feel good factor.

I've never loved the skin i'm in not even when skinny. Odd really but even when I was skinny all those many years ago I didn't love me. I always found fault in everything. Yet now I can see all the changes taking place and my figure slowly returning, I seem to accept it, to smile, to think to myself 'yes I can do this'.

I noticed it alot this last couple of weeks with phone calls, skype.  I hated the phone. I had a pretty big phobia of it if I didn't know the person I was speaking to. IF I felt comfortable I'd natter away happily no shutting me up but if I didn't know them OMG I was terrible. Tripping over every word. Panic rising. Feeling sick. Heart going. I would avoid phone calls at all costs.

I clearly remember the first time Sandra said she'd ring me to help me to sort myself out. My FIL hadn't long passed and I was bingeing like a good one.  A call!  Ring me! OMG how was I going to cope. Thing was I wanted to move forward. I wanted the bingeing to stop.  So I said Yes. :) I felt so anxious until the time of the call. I got myself so worked up. The call of course was fine, and it helped me so much.

It was at this time I started listening to the confidence pod and I gained enough , just enough confidence to visit Lori/Harshani for one to one hypnotherapy. We did quite abit on my faith in me and various other bits.

This week, as I say I have so noticed it. I've gone on skype without a thought. Felt okay about it even on a bad hair day (which I often have working at home) ! I even remember joking it was do my hair or do my exercise ! I mean miss allergic to exercise chosing to exercise rather than flatten that spikey hair. Oh and I'd gone up the school like it!!!! hehehehehehe

I have been on the phone alot more, without a thought. Been confident, put my point forward, made suggestions, joined in (possibly too much at times) but yes I did it!

I think we can safely say that my phone phobia has gone. I think I can safely say I now have confidence. Yep taken me until aged 45 (nearly 46) to get there but I am finally there. I am brimming with smiles. Brimming with confidence. Not an in your face confidence, I hope, just a subtle happiness, faith in me!!

I mean who would have thought I'd have blogged and shared my journey? I wanted to just to show others that mine hasn't been quick, no overnight fix, no quick fix but I'm getting there.  

I am in control of food and it no longer controls me. I have taken back control of my life. Lifes for living and I'm living it and loving it! Are you?

So I'm waffling again but I love the slimpods. I love what cognitive hypnotherapy can do for people Just how much it can change things.  As Dawn always says 'Nothing needs to be the way its always been' it really doesn't. Fears, phobias, weight, confidence, bingeing. It can all be changed :) I've not binged since xmas before last. So nearly a year and a half. I can't. I can barely eat past full anymore. I still eat what I fancy but I leave food if I'm full, yep leave food on my plate, even bin it!! rebel aren't I?!!!

Once I hear the full signal I stop. Every now and again I try to shove a couple more mouthfuls in as its yummy but then its like 'oh no stop!' too full.  Funny how we can change really isn't it?

Waffle over - for now hehehehehehehe

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation ......

Its how I feel! I feel amazing. I am oozing positivity, smiles, and confidence.

Getting into those jeans was the boost I needed. I've worn and washed them several times already :) I love them.  They fit lovely, in fact they are already beginning to get a little loose. They are quite baggy round the bottom and loser on the waist!


So my next goal. My new white board pens arrived so I've written out my new goal.

I will be wearing my size 14 pear shaped linen trousers on June 18th 2013

They haven't arrived yet but no rush as a little while to go.

I will eat mindfully stopping when full.

I will walk princess barky knickers.

I will do my ttapp basic workout plus 3 times a week

TTapp core cardio twice a week.

I will drink more water.

I have noticed just how confident I have become.  I answer the phone without a thought. I pick up the phone and use it without a thought. I walk tall. I smile alot. I feel fantastic.

I was asked to just pop skype on for a quick chat earlier. In the past just the thought would have freaked me out, but I was fine. Chatted normally and felt fine.

I cannot wipe the smile from my face. I feel so good, so happy and so positive I will achieve my goals. :)

I feel on top of the world. So much is changing. I'm learning new skills and loving it.  In one of Lori's downloads she did she says 'life is for living, and you're living it and loving it' and thats so how I feel!  I feel so in control. I finished my social media course and my mind is buzzing with ideas and thoughts. I learnt so much.

I just feel full of energy and smiles. I can't stop grinning.

Sunday, 5 May 2013

OMG I did it!

OMG I am so excited.!

I set a goal of size 16 jeans for 15th May.

Thought it was time to get a pair to see how far off I was. In a million years I never expected them to fit. In fact I'd been working out how to tweak my goals! They fit!!!

Okay nobody is saying I am a size 16 totally but for me to be wearing a pair of jeans in a size 16 is amazing. I've always had to wear much much bigger sizes on my bottom half due to my shape and jeans simply never fit me right as waist gapes. These fit so lovely. I feel a million dollars in them!! Its an amazing feeling to see a size 16 label on the bottom half after so many years. Its been over 21 years! I am on cloud nine. I feel so happy. I have a happy heart !

They are actually loose already on my hips and waist and bum!!

Size 14 pear shaped jeans here I come!