I keep meaning to blog its always finding ten minutes. There never seems to be a few mins spare.
I have been busy , with help, sorting out my head again. It always amazes me what things can go back to but I truly believe it is all sorted now.
Around Christmas time I tried my jeans on that I've not worn for ages and couldn't pull them up at all, Seriously a long way off. I was gutted and it was my wake up call to stop faffing about and get on with this. I started this journey, there have been bumps in the road, but i'm still on that road, I've never given up. So more work on my mind and I'm in such a good place.
I feel a weight has been lifted. I feel calmer, happier, and smilier, that lovely real smile.
Last week I decided to dig out the jeans from the bottom of the wardrobe hang them up as a goal to get back in them. I dreaded trying them on as I felt so worried how far I had to go. Imagine my total surprise when they fit ! and they were loose.
I wore them for 3 days just as proof I could ! love them!
So if you'd asked me how i've been since xmas I'd probably have moaned and said really struggling. but was I? Had I really been as bad as I believed I was? Couldn't have been could I as those jeans came up to my thighs and stopped. 2 months later they fit loosely again so something was working. The Slimpod. Yep I'd eaten my weight in chocolate and crisps at times to make me feel better BUT I clearly wasn't overeating if that makes sense, ie may have had them but likely ate alot less the rest of the time. :) I have been pulling up my leggings constantly this week. Driving me nuts. It suddenly occurred to me its because I am shrinking.! woohoo! I look slimmer, I feel slimmer, and I feel so happy about it.
Looking back today that pull of chocolate and crisps has finally gone! totally gone.. it is no longer my unconscious 'thing' to help me through life. The crisp drawer is full. I am not sneaking 4 bars of chocolate at the shop, eating them all and wondering what is going on, It has stopped. I suddenly don't want or need it again and it feels amazing.
I have taken back control of food.
Something that really helped me to realise was the first part of the book 'Diets Still Don't Work' he talks about 'study how a naturally thin person eats' 'decide you are a naturally thin person and you will be' sort of thing. They don't know how many calories are in anything. They don't panic if they eat a packet of crisps or two even. They will not eat at tea time , much to our disgust if we've cooked it, as they are NOT HUNGRY! Food to them is simply FOOD and its why they are naturally skinny they have no issues around food, they haven't allowed diets to rule their life, they have enjoyed their food but stopped when full whatever they are eating. Yep they over eat at meals out but thats it. They eat normally.
That part really made me think. This is exactly what Slimpods do. They retune our minds to eat like naturally skinny people, and then work on encouraging us to make healthier choices too so the best of both worlds.
I cannot begin to tell you how much Sandra Roycroft-Davies and Slimpods have changed my life. I was a constant ball of anxiety, I was depressed, I was a mess. I could hardly walk anywhere without being out of puff and red in the face.
No I'm not a size 10 yet and actually no longer want to be. This year I will achieve that goal of a comfortable size 14. It really is inevitable and food has no control over me anymore and I am really beginning to enjoy life. I'm so calm. Stresshead has gone totally. I feel so happy and smilie even when tired.
Yesterday the doorbell went. House was a tip upside down but on the doorstep totally out of the blue was my inspiration on my journey. Darin McCloud. Darin was always there to support me, to be frank with me, to encourage every little walk I did, even if it was just half a mile. He'd be so pleased for me. If I struggled he was always there to pick up the pieces to remind me hes struggled at times, struggling is sometimes a part of our journey but to keep going. We nattered all day. Old Jackie would have felt anxious and panicky meeting someone for the first time. I did not. It was great to finally meet up :)
So many small changes that add up to a much bigger picture. They really do. Long term life style changes one at a time :) I am more confident by the day, I no longer have a phone phobia, I leave the house, I am no longer depressed, I no longer suffer anxiety and panic attacks. Step by step changing my life for the better!