Well I've had a very stressful few weeks. Chris's leg didn't heal after 5 months in cast so he went in on Wednesday to have a rod and pins in it. It was a real shock to us all just how big an operation it was and how much pain hes been in since bless him.
I am astounded as from my side so many positives
1) I have remained pretty calm
2) I've been able to chat calmly to him when hes distressed
3) I have a real hospital phobia, can't stand the places or the smell of them yet I've been in twice a day and been totally fine, no panicks, no nothing just been going there to see him
4) I've not emotionally eaten. In fact I've found I've simply eaten what I fancied when hungry and stopped when I'm full. I've been offered food from all angles and turned it down. In fact hubby made a passing comment about me turning aneorexic yesterday as he noticed I wasn't eating that much! hehehehe me, as if!! He can't get the concept that if full and satisfied I simply don't want something even if its something I love
5) I measured after 2 months of regular TTapp. I did the 14 consecutive days and i've stuck with every other day religiously ever since. I've actually lost 17 3/4 inches from where I measure. I also know I've lost more than that ie neck, round the middle, places I don't measure :) I love TTapp as much as I love my slimpods :) now thats saying something
6) Even on my difficult days I've found positives and each time I look back I find more and more I didn't notice, or others point out to me
7) I've not used this stress etc to stop me doing the exercise. In the past exercise was the first thing I'd stop!
8) I've not been a choccie or crisp monster, in fact this week i've not really thought about food in that way. I've just thought 'mmmm I'm hungry what do I fancy' and had that. Simples!
9) I had sweet potato as a jacket potato the other evening. OMG loved it. So simple yet so yummy
10) I've been having a 40 min brisk walk with Carla most lunchtimes
11)I am wearing a top today that was so tight at Christmas I cried :) today it fits nicely :)
I have my days where I feel the old Jackie tries to come back. I have days when I wonder why I did something or why did I have to eat 3 packets of crisps. But you know they really are just 'different days' I'm not bingeing, far from it, in fact I eat so much less but I have hungrier pickier days, thats fine, its actually 'normal'. :)
I've lost all those inches and my weight has remained the same! Hysterical really! I find the scales a bit of joke these days. Yet OMG I used to be obsessed with them. They are no longer a tool I require. They are pretty useless. As something is happening. I don't binge. I don't graze all day. I am no longer a chocoholic. I'm healthier. I'm happier. I have confidence again. I exercise ! Slowly all those awful ingrained habits are going one by one. They are all habits. Some just take longer to break than others.
I've faced alot of demons really this last 15 months. I still have a few to face but will slowly deal with them. I had a pretty bad day on Tuesday. Someone mentioned a 5k race. Can walk it. Was I going? I fell apart! How crazy is that? Well my mind made a match back to a 5k race I signed up for a few years ago to make my Dad proud. He'd died a couple of years before (been 8 years at easter). I had panick attacks and had to pull out. I was gutted. I knew I wasn't ready to do it, but backing out had it price to pay. I felt a failure again. I'd let my Dad down. I'd let alot of people down. Over the years I buried that deep, but talking about it let the flood gates open, big time. I sobbed my heart out. But actually I feel better for it now. I needed to let go of it. I'd held onto it for years and it was silly really looking back. Why would he not be proud of me. Look what I've achieved the last few months?
I think sometimes I read into 'different days' too much. I panick incase old Jackie is back. Incase i'm letting old habits come back, but I don't think I am. I think everyone has different days. They just don't dwell on them and let them rule the next few days. They just accept and move on. This is something that I can do most of the time, but guess get caught out occassionally.
This week I do truely believe diet head has gone :) Yes I am still overweight. Yes my BMI is still too high! But I am happier, healthier, more confident than i've been in years and it will just continue to slowly improve. The tortoise always wins. Those that rush to that finish line so often ping back again. When I cross that finish line I'll know, and I'll be staying there :D
I've not dieted at all with the slimpods. It doesn't work for me. I don't want to ban a food. I don't want to restrict myself. When I started podding I told myself I'd never diet again and I won't. I have to accept that by making that decision I'm not going to drop weight fast, but this for me is a lifestyle change. This is how I want to live the rest of my life. Not a fad. :)
Thats why I am doing exercise I like. Exercise I am comfy with. Exercise that fits in with my lifestyle. TTapp does that. Walking does that. In fact TTapp has strengthened my back, more core, my neck and my posture OMG its amazing. I naturally walk straight (ie no duck feet!) and walk tall. No hunched shoulders. This has had such an amazing impact on me. No backache. No neckache. Less headaches. You name it :) I love the fact no leaping around. Easy to do at home, yet it works every muscle. The inches drop off and all I need to do is find 15 mins to do it. I feel more alert too. They call it the mind body workout and it is :) I always remember when I paid out for the TTapp DVD I thought 'is this another gimick that I won't do' at first it was. But since starting it properly 21st January I love it. I love how it makes me feel afterwards and I love my shape changing.
Fed up of binge eating? Fed up of failing at diets? Then this is the answer :) Its given me back so much. I feel alive again I really do. I've stuck with it through the tough times, and I'm sure I'll have a few more, but I'm not giving in, as these pods work. They change ingrained habits, but you have to give them the chance to :)
Saturday, 23 March 2013
Thursday, 14 March 2013
The Chocolate Pod
Does it work? OH YES!!
2 years ago I was a chocoholic. I was terrible. Usually Cadburys with the odd Galaxy bar thrown in !
I swear I kept Cadburys afloat!
2 Easters ago I was doing the usual. Buy about 15-20 eggs. All Cadburys of course , with the excuse I never buy cheap chocolate, when really its the only chocolate I liked! I would sit down to work and devour one or two eggs. I'd then flat pack the boxes and chop up the plastic packaging if there was any and hide it. In my drawers, under the bed, in jiffy bags in the office . I'd then dispose of them on dustbin collection day so nobody knew and replace the eggs. I was terrible. It really was an addiction. If I went into the newsagent I'd buy several bars, hiding them in my desk , eating them in secret, never sharing them, again disposing of the evidence secretly.
Last Easter I bought the usual heap of eggs. I didn't have any at all. I think I had one over Easter week that was bought for me :D
This Easter I bought 16 eggs over 4 weeks ago. They are all still sat there, I've not had any and they don't call my name. I see them every day. They are in my sight :)
I don't hate chocolate. I still like it sometimes. When I fancy it I have it. I also share it :) I no longer hide the packaging as often its not me that has that last one :)
I can go in the newsagents and buy no chocolate even if I wander up and down that isle. Its got no pull anymore unless I just happen to fancy some.
2 years ago I was a chocoholic. I was terrible. Usually Cadburys with the odd Galaxy bar thrown in !
I swear I kept Cadburys afloat!
2 Easters ago I was doing the usual. Buy about 15-20 eggs. All Cadburys of course , with the excuse I never buy cheap chocolate, when really its the only chocolate I liked! I would sit down to work and devour one or two eggs. I'd then flat pack the boxes and chop up the plastic packaging if there was any and hide it. In my drawers, under the bed, in jiffy bags in the office . I'd then dispose of them on dustbin collection day so nobody knew and replace the eggs. I was terrible. It really was an addiction. If I went into the newsagent I'd buy several bars, hiding them in my desk , eating them in secret, never sharing them, again disposing of the evidence secretly.
Last Easter I bought the usual heap of eggs. I didn't have any at all. I think I had one over Easter week that was bought for me :D
This Easter I bought 16 eggs over 4 weeks ago. They are all still sat there, I've not had any and they don't call my name. I see them every day. They are in my sight :)
I don't hate chocolate. I still like it sometimes. When I fancy it I have it. I also share it :) I no longer hide the packaging as often its not me that has that last one :)
I can go in the newsagents and buy no chocolate even if I wander up and down that isle. Its got no pull anymore unless I just happen to fancy some.
still feel fab!
Still feeling fab :) Had a sleepless night the night before last. In the past that meant a binge. Yesterday I was picky but it wasn't picky for the sake of eating it was picky eating when hungry things like a bananna, pretzels, a bacon chiabatta for tea. Lazy food but only eaten when hungry and stopping when full! Yes thats right, normal eating!
It still feels strange to eat normally without giving it a thought. My eating over the last 30 years has been dire and its totally changed.
I am still trying new foods and today had avocado for the first time. Well actually I tried it years ago but had decided prior to eating it that I wouldn't like it and didn't hehehehehe. today I mushed it with some lime juice, spread it on seeded toast (one slice rather than the old 3 or 4 slices (eek!) ) and topped it with cherry tomatoes and crispy bacon! It wasn't the easiest thing to eat but it was filling and yummy! The dog sat and waited for the bits of bacon to drop on the floor!
Today was a day off TTapp as doing it every other day but with Charlie home ill i'm not getting my fresh air and brisk walk at lunchtimes so I was itching to exercise ! yes thats right, I was itching to exercise (eek again!) so I did my TTapp step away the inches which is 2 miles and did 100% of it and enjoyed it and feel better for it :)
Something has definately changed. No obessing, no worrying what I should and shouldn't have, I have confidence, I feel positives, I feel in control, I feel calm when I have so much negative stuff going on in my life at the moment. In the past this would have been my ticket to bingeing and stress. This time I take each negative and find its positive. A negative can only remain a negative for so long once you start to analyise each negative you soon find a positive for it :)
I had the confidence yesterday to ring the hospital about Chris's pending operation and in fact had to ring lots of departments until I got the right person. Old Jackie would have hated this and got tongue tied or given up at the first voice mail :) new Jackie just dealt with it easily and confidently. In fact I never gave it a thought until I looked back at my day :)
I have been reading a lovely blog. http://deliciouslyella.com/ Old Jackie would never have looked at blogs like this as all fresh healthy recipes. But Ella's recipes are amazing :) I can't wait to make her sweet potato brownies. I love trawling through the recipes getting new ideas and trying out the new foods. Its amazing how changing your diet can help so many illnesses. One of my current ways of thinking is cutting out more and more processed foods. We've cut out loads already but I continue to try new foods and ideas.
It still feels strange to eat normally without giving it a thought. My eating over the last 30 years has been dire and its totally changed.
I am still trying new foods and today had avocado for the first time. Well actually I tried it years ago but had decided prior to eating it that I wouldn't like it and didn't hehehehehe. today I mushed it with some lime juice, spread it on seeded toast (one slice rather than the old 3 or 4 slices (eek!) ) and topped it with cherry tomatoes and crispy bacon! It wasn't the easiest thing to eat but it was filling and yummy! The dog sat and waited for the bits of bacon to drop on the floor!
Today was a day off TTapp as doing it every other day but with Charlie home ill i'm not getting my fresh air and brisk walk at lunchtimes so I was itching to exercise ! yes thats right, I was itching to exercise (eek again!) so I did my TTapp step away the inches which is 2 miles and did 100% of it and enjoyed it and feel better for it :)
Something has definately changed. No obessing, no worrying what I should and shouldn't have, I have confidence, I feel positives, I feel in control, I feel calm when I have so much negative stuff going on in my life at the moment. In the past this would have been my ticket to bingeing and stress. This time I take each negative and find its positive. A negative can only remain a negative for so long once you start to analyise each negative you soon find a positive for it :)
I had the confidence yesterday to ring the hospital about Chris's pending operation and in fact had to ring lots of departments until I got the right person. Old Jackie would have hated this and got tongue tied or given up at the first voice mail :) new Jackie just dealt with it easily and confidently. In fact I never gave it a thought until I looked back at my day :)
I have been reading a lovely blog. http://deliciouslyella.com/ Old Jackie would never have looked at blogs like this as all fresh healthy recipes. But Ella's recipes are amazing :) I can't wait to make her sweet potato brownies. I love trawling through the recipes getting new ideas and trying out the new foods. Its amazing how changing your diet can help so many illnesses. One of my current ways of thinking is cutting out more and more processed foods. We've cut out loads already but I continue to try new foods and ideas.
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
I am normal!!! hehehehehehe
hmmmm just a very quick ramble as work to do and mustn't procrastinate hehehehehe
I feel i've let go of something big in the last few days. I think in my head I always thought with becoming skinny everything would be perfect? Does that makes sense? ie being a size 12/14 would make me happy, confident, positive etc etc etc the list is endless. Everything revolved around a size/weight?
I let go of that this last week. I accepted that actually that wasn't true. Being slim doesn't make someone confident, happy, positive etc etc. Being slim just makes them slim thats it. I accepted that and let go of my obsession with a size or weight. I've had an amazing week. I feel a different woman? Why? Because I've spent 14 months facing my demons, working hard on 'me' and you know what ? I am feeling amazing! I feel confident. I can hold my head high. I have a real smile. I exercise daily. I eat normally. I feel good inside. Yep I'm still a size 18/20 but I feel fab!
The rest will come. I continue to set myself mini size goals. My latest is to fit into a comfortable size 18 outfit which is hanging up for the end of March. My next goal will be comfortable size 16 outfit for middle-end May. So my mind has a focus and knows what I want, the rest is just about living.
I thought about it alot lately. I set out to be healthier (tick - done - and still tweaking and improving this), I set out to live longer (I am hopefully achieving this), I set out to be normal around food - done
, no bingeing - done, to have some self esteem - done, to smile a real smile - done, To love myself - getting there. To feel fitter - improving daily, work in progress but thats fine, its what its all about.
I am no longer obsessing. By not obsessing = no pink elephant syndrome! The more I obsessed the worse my eating got, it was like a cycle. I was encouraging 'different days' by obssessing over them. My lovely friend Dawn, wrote about pink elephants. This post has really given me food for thought and helped me to move on http://www.thinkitchangeit.com/blog/?p=9 Dawn's blog is well worth a read there are some fab posts on there many of which have really helped me to put life back into perspective. To see it rationally and not just this tunnel vision of losing weight. There are several posts on Dawn's blog that gave me lightbulb moments. I've had a lot of lightbulb moments with discussions with Dawn lately. Also Sandra at Thinking slimmer. Giving me that focus. Never giving up on me. Showing me I am worth it! I can do it! I really can. Neither let me give up. Each time I hit a hurdle they both jumped in and held my hand and showed me there was a way through it. I can never thank people enough for all they have done for me.
It was that realisation that I was actually normal around food. It was fine to eat 3 packets of crisps if I so wanted them, some people size 10 do this sometimes. I wasn't do it daily anymore just sometimes, so thats fine. You know what since that realisation they have no pull
I no longer weigh 3 times a day after each wee just incase I've lost an ounce! I actually no longer weigh
I was obsessed over the scales too. Allowed them to decide my mood for the day . They no longer can as I no longer use them You know what if I could bottle how this realisation has made me feel I'd be rich very rich. Being a size 10, a size 12 doesn't give you any of that, you do. You can feel that way at any size its simply your perception on things. Ingrained habits. I've let go of mine and I'm 500% sure that I will reach my goals. Yes I am calling them goals, I hate goals because in the past I've always failed but you see I can't fail now can I? I've simply set a focus and I'm heading in that direction. Anything is possible. There is no failure only feedback. I really can achieve anything I put my mind to. I have set time scales as guidelines and my mind knows what I want and my mini goals are getting me there as they are imminent. They are meaningful, and I'm in the driving seat . I am in control of food and it really is no longer in control of me OMG its taken me 16 months to reach this point and I've set myself back so many times but not anymore.
I am going to live and enjoy my life. I can't allow weight, food, all that rubbish to take over or I won't be living will I? I'll just be existing allowing food, the scales to determine my life and how I lead it. Thats not for me anymore. I've changed that life and its for the better. I'm living it, loving it, and lifes for living. Losing my Dad so young taught me that. We never know whats round that corner, he didn't forsee it , we didn't but it was gone in the blink of an eye and i'm not spending the rest of mine worrying about a number that someone else in their wisdom decided was the right number for so many people of all different builds! Food for thought isn't it?
By obsessing about losing weight I wasn't losing it. It all just got into this mix up in my head. The pods, my sessions with Hashani, my downloads have given me a new perspective on life. They've helped me to change so much and continue to. I've dropped 4 sizes so far with no diet. No plan, no calorie counting, no points, no syns, and as Trevor would say 'its inevitable I will get there' it really is, I just have to sit back and enjoy my life and let them work their magic in the back ground because I've made those changes I just couldn't see the wood for the trees. It was only looking back and reflecting that showed me the enormity of what I have achieved. How far I have come. Its fantastic!
I feel i've let go of something big in the last few days. I think in my head I always thought with becoming skinny everything would be perfect? Does that makes sense? ie being a size 12/14 would make me happy, confident, positive etc etc etc the list is endless. Everything revolved around a size/weight?
I let go of that this last week. I accepted that actually that wasn't true. Being slim doesn't make someone confident, happy, positive etc etc. Being slim just makes them slim thats it. I accepted that and let go of my obsession with a size or weight. I've had an amazing week. I feel a different woman? Why? Because I've spent 14 months facing my demons, working hard on 'me' and you know what ? I am feeling amazing! I feel confident. I can hold my head high. I have a real smile. I exercise daily. I eat normally. I feel good inside. Yep I'm still a size 18/20 but I feel fab!
The rest will come. I continue to set myself mini size goals. My latest is to fit into a comfortable size 18 outfit which is hanging up for the end of March. My next goal will be comfortable size 16 outfit for middle-end May. So my mind has a focus and knows what I want, the rest is just about living.
I thought about it alot lately. I set out to be healthier (tick - done - and still tweaking and improving this), I set out to live longer (I am hopefully achieving this), I set out to be normal around food - done
, no bingeing - done, to have some self esteem - done, to smile a real smile - done, To love myself - getting there. To feel fitter - improving daily, work in progress but thats fine, its what its all about.I am no longer obsessing. By not obsessing = no pink elephant syndrome! The more I obsessed the worse my eating got, it was like a cycle. I was encouraging 'different days' by obssessing over them. My lovely friend Dawn, wrote about pink elephants. This post has really given me food for thought and helped me to move on http://www.thinkitchangeit.com/blog/?p=9 Dawn's blog is well worth a read there are some fab posts on there many of which have really helped me to put life back into perspective. To see it rationally and not just this tunnel vision of losing weight. There are several posts on Dawn's blog that gave me lightbulb moments. I've had a lot of lightbulb moments with discussions with Dawn lately. Also Sandra at Thinking slimmer. Giving me that focus. Never giving up on me. Showing me I am worth it! I can do it! I really can. Neither let me give up. Each time I hit a hurdle they both jumped in and held my hand and showed me there was a way through it. I can never thank people enough for all they have done for me.
It was that realisation that I was actually normal around food. It was fine to eat 3 packets of crisps if I so wanted them, some people size 10 do this sometimes. I wasn't do it daily anymore just sometimes, so thats fine. You know what since that realisation they have no pull
I no longer weigh 3 times a day after each wee just incase I've lost an ounce! I actually no longer weigh
I was obsessed over the scales too. Allowed them to decide my mood for the day . They no longer can as I no longer use them You know what if I could bottle how this realisation has made me feel I'd be rich very rich. Being a size 10, a size 12 doesn't give you any of that, you do. You can feel that way at any size its simply your perception on things. Ingrained habits. I've let go of mine and I'm 500% sure that I will reach my goals. Yes I am calling them goals, I hate goals because in the past I've always failed but you see I can't fail now can I? I've simply set a focus and I'm heading in that direction. Anything is possible. There is no failure only feedback. I really can achieve anything I put my mind to. I have set time scales as guidelines and my mind knows what I want and my mini goals are getting me there as they are imminent. They are meaningful, and I'm in the driving seat . I am in control of food and it really is no longer in control of me OMG its taken me 16 months to reach this point and I've set myself back so many times but not anymore.I am going to live and enjoy my life. I can't allow weight, food, all that rubbish to take over or I won't be living will I? I'll just be existing allowing food, the scales to determine my life and how I lead it. Thats not for me anymore. I've changed that life and its for the better. I'm living it, loving it, and lifes for living. Losing my Dad so young taught me that. We never know whats round that corner, he didn't forsee it , we didn't but it was gone in the blink of an eye and i'm not spending the rest of mine worrying about a number that someone else in their wisdom decided was the right number for so many people of all different builds! Food for thought isn't it?
By obsessing about losing weight I wasn't losing it. It all just got into this mix up in my head. The pods, my sessions with Hashani, my downloads have given me a new perspective on life. They've helped me to change so much and continue to. I've dropped 4 sizes so far with no diet. No plan, no calorie counting, no points, no syns, and as Trevor would say 'its inevitable I will get there' it really is, I just have to sit back and enjoy my life and let them work their magic in the back ground because I've made those changes I just couldn't see the wood for the trees. It was only looking back and reflecting that showed me the enormity of what I have achieved. How far I have come. Its fantastic!
Thursday, 28 February 2013
Diets still don't work and I'm still not dieting :)
Gosh its been ages since I last did a blog post :( So sorry. I lost my own blog and kept meaning to find it and sort it all out but life got in the way.
Well I floundered abit, the old diet head kept kicking in, I'd look in the mirror see fat and feel a failure, but I'm not, and I dusted myself down again (I really do get rather dusty don't I!) and I'm back on form.
I realised setting long term goals don't work for me. I become complacent and think 'oh I've got ages yet' and don't really put any effort in. So I set some six week mini ones and I am finding that works well. I think sometimes its the diet head that gets in the way for me with goals. Anyone else find that? Failed so many times afraid to set them?
To me a goal always = fail. Say I'll get to a size or weight for an occassion always = fail. I cannot seem to lose that mindset so setting goals is still abit of sore subject for me even though for many they work. I also think the fact I work to tight deadlines day in day out is a part of it. Keep me busy give me a tight deadline I'm on it, give me months and I become laid back and complacent then I fail. Do you see what I mean? Not sure if this makes sense but it does to me.
I am aware the pods work better with goals as they give the mind a focus. I always remember Sandra explaining this to me months ago. Abit like a cruise ship and the captain and the crew. Give the crew precise instructions and they follow them, with no instruction they flounder. I've been there and floundered a few times. So I have agreed to 6 week goals. So far so good. My aim is to be a comfortable size 18 (again - yes got there in the summer - floundered gained a few inches) by end of March. I am on target for this :) I can get into my size 18 Next jeans easily. They are a wee bit tight but I could in fact wear them. My size 18 Joe Browns top I plan to wear with them end of March is way too tight and it has stripes that go round so you can imagine the look hehehehehehe. But I will do this :) I will be wearing that outfit at the end of March.
I started up the ttapp again 21st January, and a brisk walk with Carla at lunchtime. I have lost over 11 inches in those 5 weeks ! I am happy with that as its exercise I can fit in around my life style.
I have to share todays achievement. I am so proud of myself today I went out at lunchtime and briskly walked princess barky knickers. We did a walk I've wanted to do for years but a) never been fit enough b) never had the confidence c) my asthma would have stopped it. Today I did it!
We briskly walked approx 3 miles. From home to the field which is ploughed and huge and we walked right round the edge of it !! Some of it was only a foot round the edge and abit iffy but we did it. Nobody bothered us nothing to make her bark and the sun was out. Shes knackered and I know I did it, but i can't tell you how good it felt. I've often got about 1/3 way round and turned back as not sure where it lead and what path is like and if we'd bump into anything to set her off (hence her name hehehehe) but today i achieved it and OMG it feels good. I haven't found anything to map it with yet as its a field but its got to be two miles or more round the edge as massive and the walk to the field each way was 0.64 miles so happy.
I really feel I've achieved something today and I walked talk, fast and with a big smile on my face.
I actually feel amazing just from going for that walk. It was a cold sunny day, but I felt fab. I held my head high, I had such a buzz, I felt good, no wheezing, it was amazing. I still feel fab now and I went 4 hours ago :)
I have noticed with the ttapp that some or infact alot of my spider veins have vanished! Also I had a terrible vein in my right leg. Not a varicous vein mind you it hard started to go that way, but a very hard raised lumpy large one. Its going down alot! Amazing!
I love the mix of ttapp and the pods. The two of them are brilliant. The pods really have changed so much for me. I am normal around food. I simply eat when hungry and stop when full. I eat what I fancy. I am not dieting. 99% of the time I don't overeat. Occassionally I do but its normally when watching tv, or on the pc, then I feel too full and I hate it. I think in the past that bloated overfull feeling made me happy. odd I know but somehow it was a comfort thing. Now I can confirm its a thing of mega discomfort! I overate last night and I felt so bloated and sick. It was horrible. I felt terrible all night. Lesson learnt.
I am noticing more and more that I have more energy, walk faster, enjoy it, smile more and eat more healthily. Tonight I craved salmon, salad and homemade sweet potato oven chips (eek!) it was yummy. Yet only a few months ago I'd have told you I didn't really like any of those things. I've noticed now that I eat slower and 'taste' my food rather than it not hitting the sides, that my tastes have changed alot. Alot of those high fat high sugar foods taste gross when eaten slowly :)
Well I floundered abit, the old diet head kept kicking in, I'd look in the mirror see fat and feel a failure, but I'm not, and I dusted myself down again (I really do get rather dusty don't I!) and I'm back on form.
I realised setting long term goals don't work for me. I become complacent and think 'oh I've got ages yet' and don't really put any effort in. So I set some six week mini ones and I am finding that works well. I think sometimes its the diet head that gets in the way for me with goals. Anyone else find that? Failed so many times afraid to set them?
To me a goal always = fail. Say I'll get to a size or weight for an occassion always = fail. I cannot seem to lose that mindset so setting goals is still abit of sore subject for me even though for many they work. I also think the fact I work to tight deadlines day in day out is a part of it. Keep me busy give me a tight deadline I'm on it, give me months and I become laid back and complacent then I fail. Do you see what I mean? Not sure if this makes sense but it does to me.
I am aware the pods work better with goals as they give the mind a focus. I always remember Sandra explaining this to me months ago. Abit like a cruise ship and the captain and the crew. Give the crew precise instructions and they follow them, with no instruction they flounder. I've been there and floundered a few times. So I have agreed to 6 week goals. So far so good. My aim is to be a comfortable size 18 (again - yes got there in the summer - floundered gained a few inches) by end of March. I am on target for this :) I can get into my size 18 Next jeans easily. They are a wee bit tight but I could in fact wear them. My size 18 Joe Browns top I plan to wear with them end of March is way too tight and it has stripes that go round so you can imagine the look hehehehehehe. But I will do this :) I will be wearing that outfit at the end of March.
I started up the ttapp again 21st January, and a brisk walk with Carla at lunchtime. I have lost over 11 inches in those 5 weeks ! I am happy with that as its exercise I can fit in around my life style.
I have to share todays achievement. I am so proud of myself today I went out at lunchtime and briskly walked princess barky knickers. We did a walk I've wanted to do for years but a) never been fit enough b) never had the confidence c) my asthma would have stopped it. Today I did it!
We briskly walked approx 3 miles. From home to the field which is ploughed and huge and we walked right round the edge of it !! Some of it was only a foot round the edge and abit iffy but we did it. Nobody bothered us nothing to make her bark and the sun was out. Shes knackered and I know I did it, but i can't tell you how good it felt. I've often got about 1/3 way round and turned back as not sure where it lead and what path is like and if we'd bump into anything to set her off (hence her name hehehehe) but today i achieved it and OMG it feels good. I haven't found anything to map it with yet as its a field but its got to be two miles or more round the edge as massive and the walk to the field each way was 0.64 miles so happy.
I really feel I've achieved something today and I walked talk, fast and with a big smile on my face.
I actually feel amazing just from going for that walk. It was a cold sunny day, but I felt fab. I held my head high, I had such a buzz, I felt good, no wheezing, it was amazing. I still feel fab now and I went 4 hours ago :)
I have noticed with the ttapp that some or infact alot of my spider veins have vanished! Also I had a terrible vein in my right leg. Not a varicous vein mind you it hard started to go that way, but a very hard raised lumpy large one. Its going down alot! Amazing!
I love the mix of ttapp and the pods. The two of them are brilliant. The pods really have changed so much for me. I am normal around food. I simply eat when hungry and stop when full. I eat what I fancy. I am not dieting. 99% of the time I don't overeat. Occassionally I do but its normally when watching tv, or on the pc, then I feel too full and I hate it. I think in the past that bloated overfull feeling made me happy. odd I know but somehow it was a comfort thing. Now I can confirm its a thing of mega discomfort! I overate last night and I felt so bloated and sick. It was horrible. I felt terrible all night. Lesson learnt.
I am noticing more and more that I have more energy, walk faster, enjoy it, smile more and eat more healthily. Tonight I craved salmon, salad and homemade sweet potato oven chips (eek!) it was yummy. Yet only a few months ago I'd have told you I didn't really like any of those things. I've noticed now that I eat slower and 'taste' my food rather than it not hitting the sides, that my tastes have changed alot. Alot of those high fat high sugar foods taste gross when eaten slowly :)
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Diets Don't Work!
Simples really - Diets don't work -
They make us feel a failure
They make us obsess about food
They make banned foods even more tempting
They make us obsess about a number on the scales
Last but by no means least they make us fat!
Yes thats right. Statistics show that most people that diet put on all the weight they lost and more. I was one of those people. I dieted most years did well for so long, then put it all back plus more.
One of my realisations was to watch naturally skinny people around food. Do they eat lettuce all day?? Do they live of muller lights?? Do they eat weeny slices of bread?? Do they eat diet food?? Do they starve themselves once a week for weigh day and binge after weigh in??? NO to all of this! They eat what they fancy and stop when full! They simply don't have food hang ups. To them food is food. Food is fuel. Do they weigh twice a day? No they go by how their clothes feel, if gets too tight they look at what they are eating or add in abit more exercise, they simply don't obsess about every morsel that hits their lips. Slimpods help with all of this. They gradually change old ingrained habits around food.
This year I won't be dieting. Dieting does not deal with our emotional attachment too food, any of our food issues, if anything, for me, diets made all that worse. The second I said 'diet' I craved all the foods 'I shouldn't be having'.
This year I am starting without a diet. :) I am starting 2013 with a normal relationship with food because I spent 2012 dealing with the 'head' with my 'emotional attachment' to food. At the end of 2012 food was simply = food = fuel :) I cannot tell you how liberating this is.
I now look at all the diet ads which are quite frankly doing my head in and roll my eyes. I'm just as sick of the junk emails from them, from other companies too trying to remind me 'new year = new plan = new diet = new fitness routine'
Why?
Because its what they do every year. New Year = New Diet = New Plan = New Years Resolutions!
Well not for me it doesn't !
This year New Year = New Me!
I am no longer food obsessed.
I am no longer a binge eater.
I am no longer an all day grazer.
I am no longer a lazy moo I now exercise regularly in fact I missed my TTapp over the holiday period and looked forward to it this morning.
I am no longer a chocoholic.
I no longer wake and go to bed thinking of food.
I no longer spend my days wondering what I can eat next.
I no longer eat for the sake of eating.
Food is no longer an emergency.
I am worth it.
Scales can and do lie they don't consider so many things I am proof of that. Drop 61 inches and weigh 1-2lb heavier than when I started. So scales say I failed. I didn't fail at all = they lie.
I am no longer a serial weigher because of the above. If I was I'd be a very unhappy person.
I no longer have zero confidence.
I am no longer a negative person.
I am no longer a stress head - I am one of the calmest Mums on the playground.
I eat healthily because I want to but I always have exactly what I fancy even if its chips! cake! whatever it is. That way I don't feel deprived. I'm never deprived. I can have exactly what I want when I want it, but do you know what?? Often because its not banned I simply don't want it!!
I have no wagon to fall off.
I no longer allow the scales or the diet market to decide how I feel. Its me that decides how I feel and I feel good actually!
I stand up for myself.
I find the positive in every day even if its a tough one.
I read somewhere that an emotion lasts all of 6 mins. So ride it out rather than shove it down with food. Food didn't solve any of my problems it just added to them.
If I want chocolate I have it. Sometimes a few chocolates, sometimes just one, depends how I feel. Its no longer an obsession though. I can have it in the house and not be bothered by it for weeks, but if I want it I have it.
We eat as a family. No more cooking different for me as I'm on a diet!
No more - should I have this?? Omg I ate a packet of crisps the world will end! am I allowed that? I can have just what I want.
I can now simply eat when hungry and stop when full.
I often leave food on my plate - I was brought up to clear my plate a) my mother had paid for that food i'd eat it! b) there are hungry children in Africa who would do anything for that food etc etc - thing is if I left it on my plate they didn't get it did they? But it was drummed into us to clear our plates it was manners. Even if the plate was piled a foot high we ate it!
My ibs is more or less non existant I lived with it for 26 years.
I no longer live on immodium in fact its been around 6 months since I had one :) thought no longer enters my head :) they ruled my life before and so did my ibs
I used to be so anxious. I had panic attacks - no longer
No more secret eating and hiding the evidence
Sleep better
Speak to people I don't know
can use the telephone confidently
Walk tall rather than head to the floor
Hardly ever snack between meals
I have faith in me
I can achieve anything I put my mind too
I no longer inhale my food, I enjoy each mouthful
Losing weight is not a race
I don't expect miracles I just set myself up to succeed
Little changes = big changes
The list is endless - thank you Slimpod - Thankyou Harshani - Thankyou Trevor - Thankyou Sandra - Thankyou Dawn - thankyou each and every one of you that helped me see that light at the end of the tunnel. That helped me through last year. This year is going to be fab!
Also thank you Dr. Bob Schwartz for 'Diets Don't Work' that book was like the icing on the cake for me. It really slotted everything into place, made me see what the slimpods were doing and I was fighting them!
So Happy New Year to all my lovely friends - Don't let food control you - put yourself back in control of food! If I can do it - anyone can!!!!!!!!!!!
They make us feel a failure
They make us obsess about food
They make banned foods even more tempting
They make us obsess about a number on the scales
Last but by no means least they make us fat!
Yes thats right. Statistics show that most people that diet put on all the weight they lost and more. I was one of those people. I dieted most years did well for so long, then put it all back plus more.
One of my realisations was to watch naturally skinny people around food. Do they eat lettuce all day?? Do they live of muller lights?? Do they eat weeny slices of bread?? Do they eat diet food?? Do they starve themselves once a week for weigh day and binge after weigh in??? NO to all of this! They eat what they fancy and stop when full! They simply don't have food hang ups. To them food is food. Food is fuel. Do they weigh twice a day? No they go by how their clothes feel, if gets too tight they look at what they are eating or add in abit more exercise, they simply don't obsess about every morsel that hits their lips. Slimpods help with all of this. They gradually change old ingrained habits around food.
This year I won't be dieting. Dieting does not deal with our emotional attachment too food, any of our food issues, if anything, for me, diets made all that worse. The second I said 'diet' I craved all the foods 'I shouldn't be having'.
This year I am starting without a diet. :) I am starting 2013 with a normal relationship with food because I spent 2012 dealing with the 'head' with my 'emotional attachment' to food. At the end of 2012 food was simply = food = fuel :) I cannot tell you how liberating this is.
I now look at all the diet ads which are quite frankly doing my head in and roll my eyes. I'm just as sick of the junk emails from them, from other companies too trying to remind me 'new year = new plan = new diet = new fitness routine'
Why?
Because its what they do every year. New Year = New Diet = New Plan = New Years Resolutions!
Well not for me it doesn't !
This year New Year = New Me!
I am no longer food obsessed.
I am no longer a binge eater.
I am no longer an all day grazer.
I am no longer a lazy moo I now exercise regularly in fact I missed my TTapp over the holiday period and looked forward to it this morning.
I am no longer a chocoholic.
I no longer wake and go to bed thinking of food.
I no longer spend my days wondering what I can eat next.
I no longer eat for the sake of eating.
Food is no longer an emergency.
I am worth it.
Scales can and do lie they don't consider so many things I am proof of that. Drop 61 inches and weigh 1-2lb heavier than when I started. So scales say I failed. I didn't fail at all = they lie.
I am no longer a serial weigher because of the above. If I was I'd be a very unhappy person.
I no longer have zero confidence.
I am no longer a negative person.
I am no longer a stress head - I am one of the calmest Mums on the playground.
I eat healthily because I want to but I always have exactly what I fancy even if its chips! cake! whatever it is. That way I don't feel deprived. I'm never deprived. I can have exactly what I want when I want it, but do you know what?? Often because its not banned I simply don't want it!!
I have no wagon to fall off.
I no longer allow the scales or the diet market to decide how I feel. Its me that decides how I feel and I feel good actually!
I stand up for myself.
I find the positive in every day even if its a tough one.
I read somewhere that an emotion lasts all of 6 mins. So ride it out rather than shove it down with food. Food didn't solve any of my problems it just added to them.
If I want chocolate I have it. Sometimes a few chocolates, sometimes just one, depends how I feel. Its no longer an obsession though. I can have it in the house and not be bothered by it for weeks, but if I want it I have it.
We eat as a family. No more cooking different for me as I'm on a diet!
No more - should I have this?? Omg I ate a packet of crisps the world will end! am I allowed that? I can have just what I want.
I can now simply eat when hungry and stop when full.
I often leave food on my plate - I was brought up to clear my plate a) my mother had paid for that food i'd eat it! b) there are hungry children in Africa who would do anything for that food etc etc - thing is if I left it on my plate they didn't get it did they? But it was drummed into us to clear our plates it was manners. Even if the plate was piled a foot high we ate it!
My ibs is more or less non existant I lived with it for 26 years.
I no longer live on immodium in fact its been around 6 months since I had one :) thought no longer enters my head :) they ruled my life before and so did my ibs
I used to be so anxious. I had panic attacks - no longer
No more secret eating and hiding the evidence
Sleep better
Speak to people I don't know
can use the telephone confidently
Walk tall rather than head to the floor
Hardly ever snack between meals
I have faith in me
I can achieve anything I put my mind too
I no longer inhale my food, I enjoy each mouthful
Losing weight is not a race
I don't expect miracles I just set myself up to succeed
Little changes = big changes
The list is endless - thank you Slimpod - Thankyou Harshani - Thankyou Trevor - Thankyou Sandra - Thankyou Dawn - thankyou each and every one of you that helped me see that light at the end of the tunnel. That helped me through last year. This year is going to be fab!
Also thank you Dr. Bob Schwartz for 'Diets Don't Work' that book was like the icing on the cake for me. It really slotted everything into place, made me see what the slimpods were doing and I was fighting them!
So Happy New Year to all my lovely friends - Don't let food control you - put yourself back in control of food! If I can do it - anyone can!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, 28 December 2012
Normal Around Food! woohoo!
Well as the title says this has been my first Christmas normal around food. I simply ate when hungry stopped when full!
This felt amazing. I didn't scoff everything possible just because I could. There are tonnes of goodies about and tonnes left as I simply had a few choccies when I fancied them. Thats it :)
I had to leave over 1/3rd of my Christmas dinner as heard the full signal. I didn't obsess about food once. It was just food. It was yummy and I enjoyed it but not worrying should I have this, can I have this, Do I want this was more how it went :)
I didn't weigh once and still haven't. My relationship with my scales has ended. It took me a year but they no longer call me, I am no longer tempted and I no longer feel the need to weigh. :) It really is liberating.
The best thing for me was my control around food. Also the fact no diet planned for the New Year, no wagon to fall off, no gain to lose, no panic at what i've gained over Christmas . I have finally broken some of the biggest habits I had :)
My goals are set working away in the background. I simply continue to pod and find my positives, thats it.
I had confidence this year. I was calm this year. I felt positive this year. I was normal around food this year!
What more could a girl wish for?
This felt amazing. I didn't scoff everything possible just because I could. There are tonnes of goodies about and tonnes left as I simply had a few choccies when I fancied them. Thats it :)
I had to leave over 1/3rd of my Christmas dinner as heard the full signal. I didn't obsess about food once. It was just food. It was yummy and I enjoyed it but not worrying should I have this, can I have this, Do I want this was more how it went :)
I didn't weigh once and still haven't. My relationship with my scales has ended. It took me a year but they no longer call me, I am no longer tempted and I no longer feel the need to weigh. :) It really is liberating.
The best thing for me was my control around food. Also the fact no diet planned for the New Year, no wagon to fall off, no gain to lose, no panic at what i've gained over Christmas . I have finally broken some of the biggest habits I had :)
My goals are set working away in the background. I simply continue to pod and find my positives, thats it.
I had confidence this year. I was calm this year. I felt positive this year. I was normal around food this year!
What more could a girl wish for?
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