changes

Thought I'd do a little update in general

I have realised suddenly that I constantly fought the pods most of the time without realising. ie rather than eating what I fancied and savouring it I was thinking should I have this? shouldn't really have that? constantly, so that diet head was really still there wasn't it? That mentality of good and bad foods, foods we should and shouldn't eat, but actually if we tune into our bodies our bodies know what we need and do a very very good job.

So I've been working on this for the past few days. I have noticed that by doing just that, eating what I fancy, savouring each mouthful rather than inhaling it, concentrating just on eating, I am eating far far less, enjoying my food far far more, and not having cravings for anything.

I also have stopped writing down everything I eat. After all thats diet head isn't it? A naturally thin person doesn't log every morsel they eat in a note book, scruntanise the contents of the notebook and work out what they should or shouldn't have eaten do they? They just eat. They enjoy their food and they eat. If they want a donut or a bar of chocolate they have it. If they are full half way through they leave it. It really really is that simple. Do you know what I've found? I eat healthy naturally most of the time and I have the odd thing that would of in the past been a banned food, a bad food, but it isn't anymore and by having what my body craves and needs I no longer want to stuff my face, to binge, to inhale my food, I am enjoying my food, tasting my food, savouring my food, and I am far far far happier for it.

Last night I had a McDonalds. No guilt. I enjoyed it and I ate every bit of it too. I did leave abit of the lettuce but thats it :) I ate with my family and enjoyed my meal, and didn't beat myself up afterwards as its okay to eat McDonalds sometimes.

I've also noticed that I drink more fluids suddenly too. Its like I fancy something, go to the kitchen and come back with a drink :) So all is good.

I haven't weighed myself since 18th August. Anyone that knows me will realise this is a biggie for me. I was a serial scale hopper. Awful. I let the scales reflect my mood, I let them put me into self sabbotage mode, I let them rule my life.  I have no idea where our scales are and haven't been in the least bit bothered about finding them. I am going to judge how I am doing by my clothes :)  I will weigh occassionally. Perhaps when I drop a size but thats it. I feel free! I feel I've finally let them go and believe me its liberating.

This journey started off as a weight loss journey big time but ended up very much 'change my life a step at a time'. I've achieved so much this year that may not be visible on the surface but its changed and makes my life better, happier, more positive every day.

The slimpods started all this off for me :) without them I wouldn't be feeling positive , happy, confident, I'd be Jackie the mouse. Jackie that stayed in all the time and didn't do anything. Jackie that shut herself away.  Gradually Jackie is emerging, Shes gradually going out and about more, going swimming, just generally feeling happier and having the confidence to do things. This Saturday Charlie and I are going shopping :) Whats the big deal you may ask? The big deal is I've not been shopping shopping for years and years and years literally. Why? Not sure. I suddenly began to hate anything like that, to prefer to shop on line and hide away whenever I could, but I want to go shopping. So we don't have any money so it will be mainly window shopping but we are having a few girlie hours out together this Saturday while the boys are at footy. :) woohoo!

How do I feel about it ? Fine :) In fact I'm rather looking forward to it.

I also noticed I can go swimming Tuesday or Thursday evening this week. And I'm planning to do just that :)

Its amazing how suddenly one can look back and notice the changes. See all the little things coming together to make enormous things :) Its simply amazing. I love the pods, I  have loved the one to one sessions too.  Never feel you have to live the life you are living if you are unhappy with something. Don't be stuck indoors hiding and do nothing about it. Help is out there and its actually such a simple process that you will, like me, wonder why you left it so long to do something about it. I get angry at times thinking of the years i spent feeling this way, the years I was too scared to go swimming, my terrible fear of driving, my zero confidence, my low self esteem, my ibs, my zero faith in me. Yet in a relatively short space of time all that is changing :) I love it :)  Lifes for living so lets live it ! I've found out that life is too short to live this way, its too short to put it all off until another day, it really can be taken from you just like that. I want to live a happy, positive, confident , healthy life and slowly but surely I am achieving it :)