ever feel like giving up?

Well that's how I felt yesterday.

Yesterday was a 'different day'

Its the first time in many months I just wanted to give up.

How can one go from brimming with confidence, positivity , feeling slim, feeling amazing to rock bottom in 20 seconds??? I'll tell you SCALES!!! blooming SCALES!!!

Nope wasn't going to weigh had no intention infact, but had a parcel to weigh and blooming things won't weigh just the parcel so had to weigh and then weigh holding the parcel. I was quite happy to weigh as was 150% sure of a loss, I mean my eating has changing so much in the last 22 days. So on I got 15.6 1/2!!!! Last time I weighed a month ago I was 15:1. ok got off as it hurt. Got on again yep 15 6 1/2 !!!! It was a slap in the face. So I reasoned with myself I had clothes on so take 1-2 lb off, I had eaten brekkie and had a few coffees maybe another 2 but that would still be above what I was last time I weighed  I was gutted beyond gutted.

So thats how one can go from brimming with confidence, feeling slimmer, feeling on top of the world to rock bottom in 20 seconds  that simple.

I decided I'd rise above it. I felt good Saturday so I could feel good Sunday couldn't I? nope  it didn't work that way this little voice in my head said 'foods the answer you need choccie' I ignored it as long as I could in fact managed until about 1pm. I was proud of that, but this bleddy voice got louder and louder so I had crisps, but I wanted choccie, I tried more crisps but I wanted choccie , this is how it went on. I now feel so bloated and my trousers are so tight I feel I'll burst  

Will I be weighing again anytime soon? no I won't! I hate the scales and they simply hate me. I mean how can a girl put on weight when shes eaten 3 sensible meals a day for 22 days. 5 were iffy days but I don't mean binge days not by a long run, just didn't eat as mindfully. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Scales have been hidden again. I don't know where they are and quite frankly they can sod off as I hate them more than ever!! My life was good until they briefly popped in to say hi. My life was wonderful in fact, I felt amazing, I felt so slim and happy but that number ruined my day, made me feel useless all over again, made me feel a whale!

So yesterday was not a good day at all. In fact I felt lower than lower and quite frankly I just wanted to give in, turn to food , and inhale for the next few days. Thats how bad I felt. But today I've woken up, listened to my pods, made a peppermint tea to calm my bloated tummy. Going to drink extra water today and hope this bloat goes as its awful. Taking Charlie to school and coming home and will do a few mins on the treadmill before I work. So thats me. I've dusted myself down, picked myself up (and believe me I didn't want to get up) and I will do this, somehow I will get through this and complete this journey.

In fact I am back from school, I've been on the treadmill and managed 30 mins. I took my frustration out on the treadmill and feel much better for it! lol

So today is a bright new sun shiney day, and I can do this !