7 months in - how do I feel?

I don't do this very often but today I am sharing my diary entry as I feel it says so much about the 'new me' how I feel, how much slimpods have done for me :)


"Well I was thinking as I often do and realise so much has changed lately. I really no longer consider my journey a weightloss one how odd is that I've spent 25 years dieting, yoyoing, being unhappy, miserable, depressed and now life is so different. I feel its all about finding me Letting the real Jackie emerge slowly. Having no food issues. Its just such a lovely feeling. I never set out to be a size 10 or a certain weight. I always wanted to live longer (than my Dad ), make my Dad proud, be healthier, happier and more confident. All these things matter to me and always have far more than the scales. Its also fab that i've probably achieved all of those already

I love being normal with food too. I never think about what I am eating. I no longer spend hours obsessing about food. I don't spend ages contemplating what I should and shouldn't eat. I've learnt the difference between hunger and thirst, starving and craving. Even when I am hugely stressed I eat whatever I fancy, yep a couple of times its been crisps and biccies but I always stop when full and only eat when hungry, so even these episodes do no harm as I end up not hungry for my meal too. I cannot eat when not hungry as I don't even think to Normal people have days where they eat junk. Normal people eat biscuits and crisps sometimes. I love being normal

Then of course theres the exercise. This lady who was allergic to exercise as you all know Tilly and I joked constantly about it. There was never any form of exercise I liked not even walking. It was torture in our eyes Yet look now. I adore walking. I feel fit I feel healthy I feel slimmer

Today I had the confidence to walk up the school in my exercise gear didn't even hide behind a big cardie. No jacket just my exercise gear and got several comments on how good I look

Today I had a really confident smile on my face just walking up the school. It was a 'real smile' I realised I was happy with who I am OMG did I just put that?? where is that mouse?? where is Jackie ?? who am I??

I had a houseful of gas men yesterday. I'd normally be an anxious wreck. They were all nattering to me and joking with me. I just chatted and joked back Even when they said they needed to come in at 3pm and I was off up the school I calmly and happily explained they could not until I returned at 3pm. I said it assertively but politely and they were fine with me. They even came here early today to turn the gas off so as not to interupt my routine they even chatted to me as I walked Charlie to school who is this lady I am talking of

So much is changing I sometimes feel I can't keep up, but I love it. These pods have handed me back a life thats for living. Of course, I had a life. I've always had a lovely lovely family and lovely lovely friends but this is different. This has made me see life in a different light. Its made me value my family, value my true friends, love life

Sandra has done so much for me. Shes changes lives. I am proof of that

Ok ladies so some positives

Really they are all above aren't they? so all above

I am happy

I am more confident

I have a real smile

I love life

I enjoy exercise

I've managed 107 miles in May and today is not over yet

I don't think about food. Food is fuel thats it. I enjoy food but it doesn't worry me at all

My journey is not about weightloss anymore its about the real me. About living a longer, happier, healthier, positive, confident happy life

I am making my Dad proud

I stop eating as soon as full no matter what the food is

I've done 3 boosted miles this morning and could have done more but need to work but I feel amazing

I was asked what I wanted for my birthday from Matt. I am having a bright pink exercise vest

I have this lovely inner calm and acceptance

The scales no longer rule my life - I don't need them to judge me, to tell me how well I am doing, or how badly because they no longer matter to me, as I can feel how well I am doing, it comes from within "

Another goal reached!

Today has been such an amazing day :)  Firstly I tried on and got into my size 18 Next goal jeans. My goals were set 11th January.  They were

To get into size 20 Next Jeans end February - achieved 10th February
To get into size 18 Next Jeans end May - achieved 25th May
To get into size 16 Next Jeans end August
To get into size 14 Joe Browns Dress 21st November

I have reached all my goals on time so far :) even at times when I thought I would not I have been proved wrong :) This feels amazing. I set the goals back in January podded on and gradually reaching them all.  I set mini goals too and nearly achieved all of those too so will need to make some more mini ones.

my mini goals were
1) To meet a certain lovely person - achieved 25th May
2) To talk to someone I've not spoken to before (this is because I have a fear of this, or should I say had a fear of this. I used to get tongue tied, make a mess of it, so I did all I could to avoid doing this). This week I have achieved this twice !!
3) to continue to eat mindfully
4) No scalehopping other than once a month - may need to carry this one forward lol
5) To manage to walk 4 boosted miles to my Leslie Sansone Fat Burning DVD in one go. I thought this would take a while as they are fast and phew... but guess what! I achieved this this morning! What an achievement for a couch potato as phew it was hard but I achieved it! I am so so happy about this :)
6)To listen to my main pods awake daily ( I just like to do this sometimes)7) To get in my next goal jeans size 18 from NEXT - achieved 25th May!8) To get into my Debenhams tunic dress for 9th June

so not many left to achieve as I do number 3 daily :)

Think i'll have a think and make a new list scalehopping still needs to be one of them but I've learnt some valuable lessons this week and the scales no longer feel important. I mean they showed that gain yet I still got into my jeans so I do feel they have no relevance anymore in my journey and funnily enough that pull they give me doesn't seem to happen anymore they no longer call me and if they do I'm not hearing them!

I had a visitor yesterday. Normally I'd be climbing the walls with anxiety, or even cancel, but today I was calm, smiley and confident. Shows just how far I have come since finding the slimpods at the end of October. These pods are quite literally life changing.  I hadn't realised how clever I had become at finding excuses not to go out , to see people, to speak to people until the slimpods started to peel back the layers. I was an expert ROFL but now I am gradually emerging from my shell a much stronger, happier, positive, more confident person. This really is an amazing journey :)

a little update

So I had a bad day yesterday, just so that you all know I'm not always 100% :)  I scalehopped in the morning. Couldn't resist the urge despite my challenge of not weighing until 2nd June. Yep they said 1.5lb on :( I was gutted, yet the day before someone told me I looked stunning, so healthy, glowing, lost loads of weight, we were giggling about the fact I'd lost so many inches and dress sizes yet just 5lb. So what changed over night? The scales !!!!!!!

I let those pesky numbers affect my mood again and my eating. I fell into some crisps, a mini packet of biscuits and a choccie ice lolly. I did not however have any tea :) as I was full thank you very much.  In one of my pods Trevor says 'There is no failure only feedback' I love this quote. I did not fail yesterday I had a blip. What is my feedback = crisps, biccies and a choccie lolly do not equal a yummy tea, they made me feel miserable and they made me feel sick (giggles) I have moved on. why oh why oh why did I do it? because I could not understand why they had gone up 1.5lb when I felt and looked slimmer :( I was gutted.... but why?? Why does it matter so much what the scales say? Its crazy isn't it. Everyone measures success by pesky numbers. The world is figures crazy. Obsessed with figures.  So today to cheer myself up I thought I'd throw some different figures into the equation.  Since 11th January I've been measuring with a good old fashioned tape measure once a month.  I have lost a further 5.5 inches

So okay I am 1.5lb up but I've lost flab, feel better and look thinner.

So far I have lost

3.5 inches off my waist
2 inches off bust
3.5 inches off my underbust
6.5 inches of hips
7 inches off tummy
1.5 inches off calves
2.5 inches off thighs
3 inches above my knee

29.5 inches and more as I never did measure my arms. My wrists are 1/2 inch thinner too and my upper arms are 4 inches thinner so if you add that onto the above

I have totally changed. My confidence is returning daily, I exercise every single day and love it. I walked to school this morning and in my head I was working out how many Leslie Sansone boosted miles I could fit in before my phone call at 10am.  I decided I would do 2 miles as didn't want to be huffing and puffing down the phone. I got in the door changed into my kit and put on the dvd nice and loud. Within 2 mins I was smiling and loving it. I managed 3 miles but actually wanted to do more :eek: I love these DVDs and cannot recommend them enough. I do not have a gym membership, I do not want one, I love walking. I love walking outdoors and I love walking indoors. Its a fantastic free all round fitness and the DVDs are not expensive and they are multi muscle work outs.  The above proves it :)

I used to be such a couch potato. Any excuse not to walk anywhere. Now I don't exercise 2 or 3 times a week I exercise every single day :) why? Because I love love love it and it makes me feel so good :)

Mini Goals work!

As the title says Mini Goals Work!! woohoo!!

I set myself some mini goals this week expecting them to take a while. They usually do. I use them as steps to my main goals and as I'm not quite into my size 18 jeans yet and had achieved my mini goals I needed some new ones.

My mini goals were

1) To meet a certain lovely person - this will happen next week
2) To talk to someone I've not spoken to before (this is because I have a fear of this, or should I say had a fear of this. I used to get tongue tied, make a mess of it, so I did all I could to avoid doing this). This week I have achieved this twice !!
3) to continue to eat mindfully
4) No scalehopping other than once a month
5) To manage to walk 4 boosted miles to my Leslie Sansone Fat Burning DVD in one go.  I thought this would take a while as they are fast and phew... but guess what! I achieved this this morning! What an achievement for a couch potato as phew it was hard but I achieved it! I am so so happy about this :)
6)To listen to my main pods awake daily ( I just like to do this sometimes)
7) To get in my next goal jeans size 18 from NEXT
8) To get into my Debenhams tunic dress for 9th June


So as you can see from the above, I set 8 goals two days ago and have already achieved two big ones ! I am smiling from ear to ear as these are huge to me and have made me feel so good!

I am achieving 3, 4,. and 7 daily at the moment too, and will achieve goal one next week!

Mini goals are fab. I've always loved them. All those little senses of achievement so add up to making you feel good, making you feel you can do anything you set your mind to. IF I can, you can!  So go and set some mini goals! They are such an excellent motivation believe me. I am astounded at what I have achieved in two days :) At this rate I'll be needing anothr set of goals next week!

Turning negatives into positives

Just wanted this recorded hence yet another blog post sorry :)

Yesterday I was ultra tired. So tired as a bad night feeling ill and an early morning due to barky dogs.

I coped well all day but come the evening, I needed something sweet so chose biscuits. Old habits die hard and I munched through a handful. Not thinking, not being mindful, just eating. It was either emotional eating, or the need for sugar due to tiredness not worked that one out yet.

Well OMG did I feel so ill. I felt bloated, I felt that full I thought I would burst, I felt soooooooooooo uncomfortable. This feeling lasted all night. Literally all night. Was it worth it ? NO! Its awful. I still feel bloated now and what did I have, about 10 biscuits! Its laughable in the past I could have eaten the packet and more, but goodness me I thought I would pop! Would I do it again? NO! NO! NO! mindful eating it is :)

I have learnt alot of lessons this way on slimpod.  I write them down each time and often thats enough to see the back of them, so I am sharing this with you all so you can do the same. Working out why we did something and writing down how we felt seems to reinforce with the subconscious that this was not a good thing and we move on :) So I've written it down, of course, and I am sure thats it for that one!

When I look back to what I used to be like this was nothing. A blip, a mistake, they happen and they are very easily squished these days and sometimes I believe we need to experience these things to move on.  It reminds me that I meant to say that I found it far better to 'learn a lesson' that 'dwell on the negatives' . Its all too easy to beat ourselves up about a stray choccie bar or two, or a few biscuits, or a cupcake, whatever it was you reached for.  But from now on, don't do that, try to work out why you reached for it... sometimes its allowed, you were hungry, you had a biscuit, thats fine, its times like last night when I wasn't hungry and I still reached for it, that I'm on about. Those times that have an attachment, be it emotional, tiredness, stress etc.  Once we learn to see these as 'lessons', 'blips', or simply 'a mistake' and move on with out the guilt we have learnt something very valuable and can move on from things more easily. Really its finding a positive from a very old negative isn't it?

So my positive out of this negative is that is was a blip. I could have handled this differently. If it was emotional I should have turned to my chillpod and power shower. If it was sugar well I could have had an options drink, or a mug of tea with 1 tsp of sugar, or I could have simply had a bannana or one biscuit.

At the beginning I'd be wracked with guilt if I had a McDonalds... but why?? We are not on a diet we can have it. Its that old diet head rearing its head constantly and if like me you've spent 20 years dieting its hard to get rid of. I am happy to tell you all I no longer have a diet head. Would I ever return to dieting?? NO!NO!NO! I would not. I would rather get to goal this time next year that diet and try and get there quicker.  This is a healthy way of doing it. This is long term. This is life changing. I can't fall off a wagon that I am not on, I don't have enormous guilt everytime something 'non diet' passes my lips, its simply liberating and these pods are changing ingrained habits that I've had since a teenager.They are simply amazing. :) They have taught me so many things and i'm still learning. 

Each time you have a blip, make a mistake, think about it, work it out, and move on. Never give up, because you are worth it!

Poditive ponderings

A few ponderings and waffles.

I have just ordered a proper pair of trainers.  I started off a couch potato who never exercised. I hated every form of exercise and decided I was allergic to it.  Then I got my fitpod.  I got the 'make fitness fun and easy' one (giggles) I remember thinking 'yeah right, as if!' but it works! I love my walking. I now do 2 Leslie Sansone walk at home miles most days plus walk the dog. I often walk 4-5 miles a day.

I stupidly thought the footwear I had 'would do' well it did at first as I was only walking 30 mins a day with the dog but as I upped the walking I got severe heel pain, I felt crippled each day as I got out of bed the pain was so bad. So this week I've had my feet checked, I'm doing the stretching exercises I've been given and I've ordered a good pair of trainers which will hopefully arrive this week. So I am hoping anyone reading this will do the same to learn by my mistakes rather than end up in agony :)

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So the scales began to rule my life again lately, affecting how I felt, my moods, and generally hurting my feelings so I set myself a challenge. I cannot weigh until 2nd June (eek) I am on day 2!  This will be very very hard but I won't cheat. A challenge is a challenge and this one is important.

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I have relaxed into the pods this week. Something I should have done months ago, but I took the scenic route (lol) I have found by going with the flow and not obsessing which foods to have I have made sensible choices, left food at many meals and actually eaten less as by relaxing into it food is even further from our minds. I even forgot to have my lunch yesterday until 2:45 pm as hadn't thought about it and I was busy.


I find I just eat my meals, don't consider snacking and eat what I fancy. 98% of the time its the healthy choice. Love it! Relaxing and no longer obsessing works - try it :) I am amazed at the difference it makes

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I've been listening to the chillpod and powershower a couple of times a day this week and this has made a huge difference. I feel so relaxed and calm and like anything negative just washes away. I love these two pods and have to say the power shower is my absolute favourite pod :D

Its like being in a bubble and anything negative pings off and boomerangs back!

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You're Sweet Enough pod - Had this a few weeks now and its really worked for me.  I no longer crave sweet stuff all the time. I had got in a habit of craving something sweet after my main meal to the point I just had to have it. I no longer do this :)  I hardly bother with choccie, biscuits, cake etc etc.  Once in a while I have the odd thing but thats it. It no longer makes me crave more and just a little satisfies me until the next time I fancy something. Its not daily and not even weekly just every now and again.  I love this pod as much as the choccie one as its made a huge difference to me.

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Ready to give up? Going to throw the towel in???

Feeling ready to give in? Feel its not working for you?? STOP and think.... are you doing EXACTLY as it says on the tin? :) I suspect not.....

What does it say on the tin?? Did you read it? Did you skim read it and just get listening thinking thats it?
 
So many do, or forget, or simply say, 'I don't have any positives' my reply OF COURSE YOU DO!  We are simply so used to finding our negatives that we miss them... how do I know this? Its going well for you Jackie, its just not for me?? Well because I found my positives on some pretty dire days. They are there we just focus too much on the negative ones as they tend to pop up and slap us in the face don't they?   Its digging deep and finding those positives. I am sure glad that I did.

So what did it say on the tin??

There are 3 Golden Rules

1) Listen every day

2) Find your positives every day

3) Set good achievable goals

Here is the page on Thinking Slimmer explaining the 3 Golden Rules
http://www.thinkingslimmer.com/golden-rules


1) - nice easy one. I go to bed with Trevor every night. I even listen in the day sometimes. Its nice and easy, its fab, I enjoy so I find time. I am a busy Mum of 3 and I work full time - If I can fit it in I believe anyone can :)

2) Find your positives - harder - but its doable as I did it.  I've had some tough stuff in the 6 months I've been podding. We lost my lovely FIL too, yet I still found them. They are there we often just miss them, go back and find them! I keep my notebook on my desk and write as I think of them or find them :) at the end of the day I bet I'd forget a few otherwise

3) Set good achievable goals - not so easy is it? We all seem to struggle with this one.  If you read here Thinking Slimmer explain how to

http://www.thinkingslimmer.com/THINKING-SLIMMER-GOAL-SETTING

and here

http://www.thinkingslimmer.com/smart-goals


Don't forget to fill in your contract with yourself and pin it up somewhere :)

So you've now seen all the official stuff and I'm now going to waffle and say how I see it. This is just my view and I may not be 100% right but this is why I think its important.

1) Listen - find the time, because you are worth it!  We can all find 10-20 mins to listen to the main ones daily. Doesn't have to be in one go 2 lots of 10 mins is often easier to fit in

2) Positives - if we find positives daily that are pod related, we are reinforcing with our subconscious that these little changes are getting us to our goal. I really make the effort to find pod related positives as much as possible as I find they work 100% better.

What sort of positives do I find?  Tonnes but here are a few for you

I left food on my plate!  (sometimes just one mouthful, sometimes 1/3rd of my food - but yes I regularly leave food on my plate now and never ever did in the past - I mean who leaves one mouthful?? you just shove it in don't you? Well I used to but not anymore)

I walked to the shop rather than take the car

I didn't think about food from one meal to the next

I forgot to eat breakfast as I was busy

I walked two miles even though I didn't feel like it today

I refused the bar of choccie I was offered

I ate mindfully


3) Goals - so many struggle... I did. I reset mine mid January and felt everything worked so much better from that point on

I want to be a size 14 by end November so spaced it out working out what size I would need to be at regular intervals to achieve this. I didn't use weight as a measure as scales are the devil. I mean I've lost 2 foot of me! 24 inches, but just 5lb... crazy crazy crazy

So my first goal was size 20 Next Jeans... Planned end March got into them mid Feb

Next goal size 18 next jeans end of May - yet to be achieved but close as I can pull them up do them up but really need to be able to breathe as well!

Next goal size 16 Next Jeans by end July beginning August

Final goal - size 14 Next Jeans for 21st November

So I have my main goals, how do we get to the first one?


You could choose and item of clothing thats slighly too tight and hang it up to see daily. ie an inbetween goal.

You could set 3 mini goals leading up to goal one

ie

1) I will listen to my pods daily and find 3 positives daily
2) I will walk for 30 mins 3 times a week
3) I will eat mindfully

Whats eating mindfully?? I sit and eat with no distractions. No tv, no pc, no reading, I just sit and eat. Enjoying my food, and savouring every mouthful..... Its scientifically proven we eat less.  We also learn to hear that 'I am full signal'. I now hear this loud and clear at every meal.

I really find picking that item of clothing and hanging it up helps :) its a visual reminder of each goal. Visual reminders are good. Its a focus.

Without good achievable goals like me you will flounder about. I did. I reset them, my subconscious has its focus and its full steam ahead :)

So give it a chance. Don't throw in the towel, do as I do and keep podding, keep finding your poditives, as they make you feel poditively amazing.  I have a real smile now :) I feel so much more confident daily. Old Jackie is gone for good now, good riddance I say, and new Jackie is emerging daily. Everyone sees the changes, even I see the changes......

After the lightbulb!

Today has been a good day :)

I love lightbulb moments like yesterday. I think we have so many lessons to learn on this journey and I learnt several this week.

The biggest is 'I'm not on a diet' I need to stop constantly looking at diet food.  I eat healthy, so I must not obsess.

Scales - its confirmed that they really are the devil.  They affect our moods, they affect our feelings, they hurt our feelings, they lie. Simples.

Its a crazy crazy world we live in where everything seems to be measured by numbers.  Especially when scales are involved.  If the scales were in charge I'm a failure.  If I were to go to my Doctor and I was asked to weigh I would be told off. 'You've only lost 5lb' they would say to me... bt my reply

Well look at my blog! hehehehehe I've lost 23 3/4 inches since January, so there! So how does this work? I don't know. Its odd. The photos tell the story don't they? My shape is totally changing yet my scales just stick. They are going down but not at the rate the inches are.  I can only assume its related to the fact that I now exercise :)

Yes thats right Mrs Couch potato is no longer a couch potato :) I walk with Leslie (Leslie Sansone) most days. OMG I love her DVDs. I walked 3 miles with her today, I say walked today was a brisk walk with a boost :D and I did it :) Mrs Couch Potato kept pace and smiled the whole time. I love it! This girl who was allergic to exercise loves it. I have finally found something I enjoy.  I also walk miles with the dog too.  I walk tall with a smile.

Whats best is I exercise because I enjoy it :) I love it :)

So is there anyone out there that wonders 'Does the fit pod work?' 'Can it work if I am allergic to exercise?' YES YES YES it can! I am proof.  I average 3-4 miles a day now and enjoy it. Some days I walk 6 miles :)

Today I relaxed into it.  I have had a fab day. I've got lots of work done. I've eaten healthily and until full but without 'thinking' about it constantly.  Because I relaxed into it and just got on with it, I've not snacked, and haven't wanted to? Why? Because I wasn't constantly thinking about it. Thinking what I should and shouldn't have, I just went with the flow :) How cool is that :)

I think perhaps I am powershower and chillpodded out today as I played them on repeat as I worked. But you know what I feel fab! I feel calm, relaxed, a lovely inner calm, my positivity is back and I feel, well , smiley :)

I have a couple of tunic dresses in a size 18. I want to be wearing them by the 9th June :) Its my SIL 50th Birthday so I have a goal to aim for, and of course my size 18 jeans which are being shortened for me ready to wear very very soon I hope :)  I have a way to go to get into those dresses, but I am going to try my best to be in them so I have a choice of what to wear.

Sandra posted a quote a while ago and I love it
When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place

I love this quote. :) Today I remembered why I had held on for so long :) its a good feeling.

Another favourite quote is

Aim for the moon, fall on the stars .........

Lightbulb moments

Its funny.... I've had a bad few days emotionally.... but read Becca's latest blog post and for some reason lightbulb moment :)


It was reading her honest open post of her 12 months with slimpod that made me realise what I've been doing :eek:


Firstly the scales started to move down so I was so happy as they've been cruel to me despite the inches I've lost.  Of course because they went down I then became obsessed with them again. While they continued to move down all was well, but then one morning I got on and a 2lb gain :cry: that was it my brain worked overtime, I mean 2lb gain, what do I do, how can I deal with this, how do I feel? How stupid was this :( I can see this now, the head fights started again, I felt downright miserable, I felt depressed, I was upset and why because of a stupid number on a lump of glass :rolleyes:


I also started to think of diet like foods, but this didn't work as I went against what my body was telling me it needed so it sprialled into , well a mess :( I then went on a carb feast. Did I feel happier??? No of course not cos the blooming scales kept moving up. What did this achieve?? more misery. :(


So I then read Becca's post http://fromsnickerstomarathon.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/thinking-slimmer-one-year-on.html?spref=fb

It was like suddenly it all clicked back into place :) OMG I felt amazing again, I realised all that I've been doing, how it was all connected, what started it, and I feel all happy and positive again. Thankyou Becca :) ((hugs)) you've just made my day and snapped me out of a vicious circle :)


Ditch the blooming scales.!!! They are evil. They change overnight, they can decide your mood for the day, the week, the month. One stupid piddly number on a lump of glass can decide how we feel :( How sad is that :( crazy really isn't it because the whole world is measured by this stupid number, yet I am healthier, happier, more confident, inches dropping off me, eating sensibly, enjoying my food, have a real smile again, dropping dress sizes, exercising daily and loving it.... what on earth is my problem ?? I should be shouting from the rooftops not sat here close to tears over a number.  


Life is for living isn't it?? and this girl is back and living it :)

The camera never lies!

so the camera never lies..... the piccie above is me.... mmmm not good, but yep I can confirm its me.  I can also confirm it wasn't just a bad shot , not just the angle it was taken, all the photos at that time look the same! whoops... So I then lost 2 stone on Slimming world .... then wavered and found the slimpods.

I thought I looked good actually, 2 stone lighter but looking back mmmmmmmmmm. Well the above piccie is day one of slimpod..  End October last year.  Weighing in at 15 stone 12......., so as I say I then found the pods

The above piccie in the green is me this week. 6 months in. Not only have I lost 7 inches off my belly, 7 inches off my butt, etc etc I appear to have lost several chins (giggles) and found a real smile :)

Just editing this post to add in today's photo.  May 25th wearing my size 18 Next goal jeans. Goal was to wear them end of May and I am wearing them :D